We just spent a lot of my dad's money to get him into an upscale memory care residence. He's been there a week. Now that they have the large deposit and are getting quite a hefty monthly income, I notice the care team is not so quick to respond to my emailed questions. But I tend to be fast-moving and somewhat impatient. The move-in was very quick and frenzied after a prior 6 months of chaos with dad's quickly changing needs and 2 hospitalizations. Sign up, initial questions and move-in were done in person. Now that the crisis is over and I can breathe, I can think of questions I didn't ask. They seem to prefer email since they provided a long list of the staff's email addresses. What do you think is a reasonable amount of time for a response about aspects of Dad's care?
I can certainly call them, but I am curious what you have experienced.
It was clear they forwarded this to the care director, who then responded immediately to my two emails that had piled up.
Hoping to get to know staff better now that Dad is settled. I will visit once a week. I know everyone works hard and I want to be able to appreciate them in the way described by one of you. And for 12.7k per month, even though they are busy and short staffed, I have become pretty no nonsense like lealonnie. 😁 I do fret about making a nuisance of myself (in life in general), but there have been questions about how they operate, since admittance was very hasty.
A funny example: dad tells me all they serve is coleslaw. I know that's not true ... but I want to find out what they ARE serving him. If they tell a visiting family member there was an act of aggression but they don't let me - the health POA and first contact - know just what happened, I'll be asking and expecting an answer pretty quickly.
DON'T MESS WITH US MIDDLE AGED WOMEN 😆
I noticed in today's world with cellphones, more people have become impatient because they want an immediate reply. I had to give up doing texts with my grandkids because they would go into panic if I didn't answer a text within a couple of minutes. I am surprised they didn't call the police for a welfare-check.
You are so very correct- the primary goal of these facilities is to drain families of their savings & assets, not to care for & support patients.
I would prefer to end my life before allowing these facilities to confiscate a lifetime of hard earned savings under the guise of medical care. That’s probably exactly what they want - all us working/middle class slops to either die or hand over everything our families earned. It’s a sick game that know no shame.
I personally think an acknowledgement of an email within 1-2 business days is reasonable. But again, wondering how it has been for others, and what do they feel is reasonable?
If I emailed the person I was supposed to email (and I forget her title tbh), I was lucky to get a response w/i a week. Then I'd get POed and email the Executive Director and/or call and leave a voice mail. I'm like you, nobody to fool around with b/c I am impatient and a no-nonsense human.
Mom lived at this AL for 4 years, then segued into their MC bldg and lived there for nearly 3 years. The entire staff knew me and they knew both of my parents well. They also knew my personality and not to aggravate me TOO badly or I'd be seriously irritated and unhappy as a result. Which is not a bad thing for the staff of YOUR dad's MC to know. Which is not to suggest you should be a loud/obnoxious/crass daughter or son; just that you should make it known you're a NO NONSENSE HUMAN who expects to be dealt with PROFESSIONALLY b/c that's part of what your dad is paying an ASTRONOMICAL MONTHLY FEE FOR.
Conversely, I was very appreciative (and made my appreciation known to the staff) for all their kindnesses and how well they did care for mom *and my parents beforehand* I gave gifts and tips at Christmastime and always spent time getting to know the staff, etc. That's also part of the process in managed care; the POA/daughter/son has to be kind and firm at the same time, which creates an atmosphere where the staff WANTS to be helpful.
Best of luck to you!
when there’s an email I would think
a day or two is reasonable for them get back … but you know best is
to visit often … that’s when you see what’s going on … have questions answered and most of all they’re more accountable when there’s an involved family member.
The facility has the daily menu posted on a wall near the dining room. Frequent visits help you get an idea of what he is eating. The caretakers also work in the dining room so they know which resident needs to have his/her food cut up for them. I also know which caretakers are more knowledgeable on things and take time to stop and visit with them, and then ask about his days (showers, eating, bathroom accidents....) Some are always eager to talk. Especially if you bring the group treats from time to time.
It also gave both of us a record of the care so that when formal care reviews were done, they were efficient. I did use white dry erase boards inside the room to communicate thank you notes, suggestions on menu’s and other topics that were related to ADL’s. The staff seemed to like that.
Since I did transition my mom in the middle of a merger, I faced staff changes mid stream. I kept the notes from each meeting and shared them with new staff.
I did learn what to address to whom. It helped to learn what each person was responsible for so I did not waste my time or theirs. The change in ownership certainly added more frustration than most would face in a transition.
I wish you all the best with this transition.
I think MJ has the best solution. Schedule a meeting.
Write any important questions down before hand.
The meetings I had with staff when my mom was in a facility for rehab were timed.
As FF pointed out, the staff is going to be very busy. They may not have a lot of time to discuss things leisurely.
Others should see your question and help also.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Answer I guess is "it all depends".
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