Currently my father is on a medical hospital unit. He transferred from a rehab. He was admitted to the rehab after experiencing a stroke. The rehab transferred my father to a different hospital due to psychosis. The plan was for a geripysch stay but after 6 days, he remains on a medical floor. My brother is making decisions for my father despite the fact that my father has not been deemed incompetent. Furthermore, my brother is not providing updates to me. My brother recently made a poor decision about not bringing my father for medical care. My father's medical needs were neglected.
How can I get rights to talk to hospital staff about my father's condition? My brother has all hospital staff convinced not to talk to anyone but him. I do not know what paperwork exists in my father's record to warrant my brother's ability to stonewall.
From conversations with my father, I gathered he has a poor appetite and is not getting out of bed. I believe my father's needs for recovery from the stroke would get properly addressed in a different setting.
Does anyone have advice how I may get access to information even if I need to take a legal route?
When my mom was in the hospital they gave her medical information to me because I was selected by mom to be the medical power of attorney. She needed rehab and I selected the facility for her.
When my mom entered rehab after a hospital stay, the nursing home asked me to fill out all of the necessary paperwork.
I was the medical power of attorney and completed all of the forms.
There was a spot on those forms that specifically asked who would have permission to have access to my mother’s health records. I filled that space in with all of my siblings names, my husband and daughters.
Is your brother the medical power of attorney for your father? If he is and did not list your name on the contact list, due to HIPPA laws you will not be privy to his medical information.
He won’t let me or my kids see her and it’s been 3 years now & shes 98 years old. It’s been so hard.
If your father is not capable of making his own decisions, you can petition the court for guardianship and/or conservatorship to help make decisions about his care or finances.
https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/lce/resources/dc-how-to-get-a-guardianship-or-conservatorship.pdf
I would contact a social worker and say that currently your brother is acting as contact and you are not getting information. She can arrange for your Father to appoint as medical POA or as contact those members he wishes informed about his condition.
They will let you know if your brother and Dad signed papers letting him be POA.
You can also contact the Patient Liaison at the Hospital.
If no one is helping you tell them thst you plan to contact Senior Social Dept.
No need for your brother to have said a word to convince anybody about this. Unless your father has authorised the hospital staff to speak to you, it's The Law. They can't.
You have no particular right to access your father's confidential medical information. That decision is your father's to make.
Consider the possibility that your brother is rushed off his feet and doing his best for your father in spite of these very challenging times. Don't get shirty about his not consulting you and don't second-guess. Are you close enough to be of any practical help to either of them? Who is/are the other sibling(s)?
If your dad is aware, can you get him to sign Hippa paperwork so you can know about his care in the hospital?
Do you know your dads lawyer? Maybe you can ask if your name is on any paperwork? That really stinks that you can't find anything out. Go or talk/call charge nurse to find out. Good luck.
You mention “siblings” are there other siblings involved? Has your relationship with this brother always been strained or have you not been particularly close and this is causing the strain? If you are able to go visit yourself that is probably the ideal way to introduce yourself to the caretakers, get info and make sure your status as HIPPA approved. If that isn’t possible and really even if it is I suggest taking it upon yourself to offer help. Organize your siblings, offer to be the info person, do the things you can via internet and phone to help care for dad and take some of the burden off your brother, remember this is his dad too and even if he hasn’t shown it there is an emotional piece for him as well which can make decisions and communication harder. Many hospital systems these days have a portal system for communicating with doctors and seeing what’s going on, though admittedly hospital stays often aren’t included until after the patient is gone, still offering to get that set up and being really transparent about it, like here is the sign in info as soon as you create it... may go a long way in helping your brother accept you as part of the team. Offer to keep all the important family members up to date for him, all he needs to do is call or text you each day with updates and you will take care of everyone else or if your relationship is too strained for this perhaps another sibling could take this on. I live 5 hrs from my mom and brother who is her “on the ground” person but we work as a team, I do all the doctor communication, he does most of the visits unless I’m around to do them, I do all the medication ordering and supplies he fills her dispenser and makes up the insulin syringes (again unless I’m in town and can do it), we communicate all the time and though our youngest brother is on the other side of the country and can’t do as much day to day he is always there when we really need him even just for a break. Her stroke and subsequent medical problems has in many ways been a blessing for our sibling relationship because it forced us to spend a chunk of time together for the first time since we were kids, just us while she was in the hospital and it forces us to be in communication almost daily to update each other which has been a great thing for all of us and our families. I’m not saying all families will be able to do this but it can be an opportunity to come together in some form out of love and catering for your parent.
The other important thing of course is to organize and make sure everyone knows what the legal set up and your dads wishes are now and in the future without making your brother feel like he’s being threatened or attacked. Maybe he already feels guilty about this bad decision he made, are sure he knows you know he did the best he could at the time, poor designs are made all the time in these circumstances and frankly having siblings to bounce them off of helps immensely! Having the legal ducks in order helps in the future.
When my Dad was finally hospitalized, my brother said he wanted him just to be comfort care. A sister spoke out and said he should go to rehab.
I do live out of state. I have offered to help in any way possible. All offers have been refused. Prior to my Mother's hospitalization, I was asked to travel where my Mom and family live to help. I was told under what conditions this would happen. When I let my need for privacy known due to the confidential nature of my work, my sister told me how I could close my bedroom door.
I
I am glad you were able to work things out with your siblings.
BUT let your father be a man and DO NOT tke away what little independance HE MAY HAVE LEFT! Dr Jack Grenan Blessed cancer survivor
She chooses not to, so we all just let it go. I don't know, for the life of me, why YB is so entwined with mother's life and care. Here stand 4 very competent adults, willing to step up and do anything and he does not want us involved AT ALL.
All I know is she doesn't want extreme measures taken to keep her alive. Other than that..nada.
In time, I've come to accept and realize I actually have been given a gift.
If there is some chance that brother's name is on release documents at dr office and at the hospital because your dad previously put his name on forms, then you might have a problem. If that is the case, you probably need to see an elder atty to help you get access to info. Each state probably handles it differently, so get legal advice from the pros