My Mother lives in a memory care facility. There is another resident there ( male) who steals items from my mother and the other residents as well and then hides these items in different locations and in other residents rooms throughout the building......some items never to be found again. This started out with small items such as toothbrushes , toothpaste , and soap, but now includes some of my mothers more personal items items such as some of her costume jewelry and a photo album. I speak to the management there daily. They are trying to keep a closer eye on this man, but somehow he can still manages to continue with his clepto ways. I visit daily and have to do a check to see what it missing and then go searching the facility to see what I can find. This same thing is happening to many of the others there, but since their family members don't visit daily like I do they are just not so aware of what goes on there. I have to say that I more than aggravated, annoyed and upset by all of this. Don't get me wrong....I actually love this facility and my mom gets very good care there. The staff is wonderful and the place is beautiful. I actually moved my mother all the way from Massachusetts to Illinois because i found this facility to be superior to many of the others i visited. I'm not sure what to do next. Some might say just move her to a different facility, but I feel that this would be a major inconvenience since she is adjusted to her surroundings now . I am wondering what else to do and if the facility is actually doing what is required or if I have to take some kind of legal action ?? Or if that is even feasible.
I suggest that you continue working with the staff in a cooperative spirit. They have a responsibility to your mother to keep her from harm. They also have a responsibility to the man who steals items (if that is really what is going on.) If it were your mother who were stealing items or was accused of stealing items even if in her mind no theft was involved, (and she could be -- she is not fully herself, as you know. Who knows what she might get up to next month) how would you want her treated? How would you try or expect the staff to try to prevent this behavior?
Of course you are aggravated, annoyed and upset by this situation. That is understandable. Dementia is often aggravating, annoying, and upsetting. And now your mother is surrounded by people with dementia. I am glad you feel she is in a good place and is well cared for. That is very important. I hope you can work with the staff and find creative ways to minimize this problem.
I have had some experience in matters such as yours and I do not doubt your experience at all. That being said, I have also seen a couple of cases when the patient has given away things and then believes that they were stolen. I could not tell from your email if it has been established that the suspect has actually been exposed as some kind of a kleptomaniac. That things have been found in the rooms of other residents makes me wonder what is going on because the idea that the man planted things in their rooms is at least equal to the possibility that mom gave the stuff to them and then forgot all about it. Certainly, the home has some liability. I do hope that you have removed things of value from your mom;s room.
Yours is a tough situation and I hope that this works out for you..
You can play private investigator and build a case against him by collecting statements from victimized residents and/or filing a written complaint. Have the staff sign the original and give them a copy. In this country, what you say isn't as important as what you can prove. Once you have it in black and white, expose him to his family / visitors. If they feel the heat, maybe he'll never hear the end of it.
... I'm surprised residents haven't ganged up on him already.