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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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It could be frustration, depression or dementia. My mother who passed away in July this year was the same with me. We had some awful arguments. In the end when my mother started shouting I just used to walk out of the house as I found it best not to retalite back, but I know it's very hard - my heart goes out to you.
My mother also got angry. It was hurtful to me and frustrating and I was upset with how nasty she could be, but.... When I stepped away, I realized she was profundly afraid in a way I could not understand (until the day I am her age and in her health). She was upset and felt she had no other way to influence the things that were happening to her and in her life. It was ugly.
It was very hard for me personally, but I tried as hard as I could not to do the same thing she was doing. When she was quiet, I would circle back to her and sit down with her and say that I thought she might be afraid or upset about something and might want things to go another way. I'd ask her what she wanted and asked her to talk to me, rather than getting angry.
I also told her that I did not want to be ugly too and I did not want behave that way either. Someone told me to hug her and tell her I love her every day. I did that. Although it was not an easy journey, in the end I was glad that I had the chance to spend a few with her, to help her in those final years and to be kind to her.
Hoping you find a way to work through this with your mom. Mine passed away at the end of October and I am so thankful for this site and for the help I got to bring the arguments down to peaceful conversations and to get a chance to tell each other how much we loved and admired each other. I also got a chance to tell her that I wanted to be there to help her though the things she found hard or frustrating.
I will have that for the rest of my life. It is such a great gift and I wish the same for you.
Shouting at you is anger at becoming old and losing what one held so dear to her. Working with elders for many years, I have prepared myself for "old age" by always thinking and speaking positively and staying involved with a myriad of activities especially listening to tapes which are very spiritual and uplifting, taking walks and talking with the trees, the garden and flowers, listening to my favorite music,starting the day with a prayer and sending cards to those who need a bit of encouragement. I love the computer which keeps me in contact with the outside world. I am 78 and have no intention of becoming bitter, angry and manipulative and taking my feelings out on those near to me.
If her marbles are more or less intact, she does it because you let it. Plus I also suspect she's always done it.
Next time, remove yourself from the situation Go for a long walk if only to breathe and lower blood pressure. Tell her you'll be back when you don't hear her. Behaviors w/o consequences are usually repeated, and the fact she's struggling with existential angst doesn't give her a license to verbally abuse you.
Don't feed into it. At her age and condition, you're probably the only "thing" she feels she can still control. Find a way to deny her that pleasure w/o shouting matches.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It was very hard for me personally, but I tried as hard as I could not to do the same thing she was doing. When she was quiet, I would circle back to her and sit down with her and say that I thought she might be afraid or upset about something and might want things to go another way. I'd ask her what she wanted and asked her to talk to me, rather than getting angry.
I also told her that I did not want to be ugly too and I did not want behave that way either. Someone told me to hug her and tell her I love her every day. I did that. Although it was not an easy journey, in the end I was glad that I had the chance to spend a few with her, to help her in those final years and to be kind to her.
Hoping you find a way to work through this with your mom. Mine passed away at the end of October and I am so thankful for this site and for the help I got to bring the arguments down to peaceful conversations and to get a chance to tell each other how much we loved and admired each other. I also got a chance to tell her that I wanted to be there to help her though the things she found hard or frustrating.
I will have that for the rest of my life. It is such a great gift and I wish the same for you.
Working with elders for many years, I have prepared myself for "old age" by always thinking and speaking positively and staying involved with a myriad of activities especially listening to tapes which are very spiritual and uplifting, taking walks and talking with the trees, the garden and flowers, listening to my favorite music,starting the day with a prayer and sending cards to those who need a bit of encouragement. I love the computer which keeps me in contact with the outside world. I am 78 and have no intention of becoming bitter, angry and manipulative and taking my feelings out on those near to me.
Next time, remove yourself from the situation Go for a long walk if only to breathe and lower blood pressure. Tell her you'll be back when you don't hear her. Behaviors w/o consequences are usually repeated, and the fact she's struggling with existential angst doesn't give her a license to verbally abuse you.
Don't feed into it. At her age and condition, you're probably the only "thing" she feels she can still control. Find a way to deny her that pleasure w/o shouting matches.