Regular posters to this forum will remember that I'm transitioning my mother's sitters to part-time in about a week, then going solo. My previous posts explain why. I pay the main sitter every Thursday (she is the banker for the other one), $10 an hour but realized the other day that I've actually been giving her about $30 more a week, $800 per week instead of the $770 (11 hours a day, 7 days a week) it would calculate to be. I think I just rounded it off because she was good about helping me in little extra ways. We've been good to each other.
I don't dock her pay when she has to go to a doctor's appt (although it's pretty often) because it's local and she's usually not gone long. Also let her run home (about 15 mins away), to the bank, take her car to shop etc. I have taken out a little only once before when she was out. Yesterday I didn't pay her for 1 1/2 days she was out sick and she didn't seem to understand, thinking she was going to get the $800 every week because she thought she was on a salary! I reminded her that I hired her at $10 an hour and we never discussed a "salary". She never seemed to remember that. Maybe she was a little surprised that I would decrease her pay? We were calm with one another and I reminded her of the many times I've let her go to the doctor, run errands, etc and stay "on the clock". She has helped me by picking up things for my mother but it's always been when she was already in the store or going right by on her way somewhere else and I always paid her for any items. She has picked up a lot of kids meals (which she reminded me of) for my mother while on the clock with the petty cash I would give her. Also, I have "tipped" her occasionally and given her $100 at Christmas and small gifts for her birthdays. She has given me flowers a couple of times and a small gift at Christmas.
Should I give her a little more money for the 1 1/2 days she was out sick? My concerns over finances is one reason I reduced her pay this week and I've explained that to her along with the fact that she was not there. She doesn't seem to be in a real pinch for money, drives a nice enough car and wears new clothes all the time. We have become friends and care about one another and do want to close this on good terms. I want to do what's right but should I pay her when she's not there for a whole day? Anyone else been through similiar? Lesson learned...I'll never do this again without something in writing.
If the two of you agreed on $10 an hour then what is she upset about? You have honored that.
I believe in treating employees well and I believe that you have done so.
Yes, having things in writing is indisputable proof of what the original situation was agreed upon by both parties.
I would not pay her for not being there. However, if she is paying the other girl from the money you give, did this person cover for her? If she did then the time was covered and should be paid.
It sounds like you have been paying them under the table and they are now entitled. Your other post talks about them sleeping on the job, playing on the phone and not getting mom out of her room, now they are doing errands and taking care of personal business and other things. Oh my! It is a good thing that you are getting rid of them.
Don't be surprised if you don't have coverage for this week. She is mad that she is losing her cush cash cow job, and I use the word job loosely.
I think you are doing a good job of providing the best level of care you can while being mindful of finances. It's a really, really tough job. We understand that, but the person you hire does not need to understand that. They are due their paycheck for hours worked without regard to the family financial situation. Unfortunately the lack of having something in writing makes your situation tough. I sense, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you are starting to feel taken advantage of. I've been there. The relationship has crossed a line into some personal friendship territory so where you feel the caregiver is just helping out with a few extra things, she may feel that she is always on the clock. Her car and clothes are not of any consequence to the fact that she feels she is working every time she is doing something for you. Unfortunately there may be hard feelings ahead for both of you. If possible, try to redefine or separate the relationship you have developed so that the work time is more cleanly/clearly defined while you see this to the end. I'd hate for you to feel you're losing a friend while dealing with so many of the other difficulties in caring for an aging parent.
Her profile mentions a nursing home. So are the sitters going into the nursing home to sit? This is a confusing post to me.
Do you have a log of her pay? Why is she confused?
Is this common to hire extra help for a nursing home?
Don't know that it's common to have sitters but I have known some others that have. It's been a heart wrenching decision for me but feel it's the best and logical one at this stage of her dementia. Thanks.