Should my sister continue to have full access to our mom's social security income even though mom now lives in a nursing home?

Is your mother's nursing home care being paid by Medicaid? That's the important question to answer. Everything basically hinges on the answer to that question.

Many facilities would require payment from SSI directly. Talk to the facility.

Helenabena11: Retain an elder law attorney posthaste.

You can turn your sister into social security for misuse of funds. I know this because I was representative payee for my BIL and I was turned into social security for misuse of funds. I had to prove where every cent went of his. I keep excellent records of spending my BIL's finances. I had to send in every statement, receipt and bank statement I had to social security. In my case they told social security that I went on a lavish vacation with his social security and all of this was anonymous. Took me $55 of my own money to prove my innocence and after that I signed everything over to the nursing home because I knew his family would do it again to me. Haven't been involved in his finances now for well over a year and it feels so good.

Read only title. What was legal contract prior to going into the home and how did you work it that the home don't get it all but $50??

Interesting. I thought once SS was notified she was in a facility,all of her SS, ( save $30 or so) would go to the facility.

I should know, still "fighting" facility to remove still residing there. As long as the address is still listed as the facility, I still get only $30.

There are several pieces of information missing here.
1) - Who is paying the nursing home? Typically Mom's social security would all go toward the cost of the nursing home. Unless she had other money and assets.

2) - Does your sister have POA over Mom's finances?

3) - Does Mom have a will or has she left any instruction about the distribution of the family home when she dies?

You might get some help by contacting an elder care attorney. If you are suspicious about where the Social Security income is going, a more direct route would be to contact the social security office, tell them of your suspicions and let them investigate. If your sister is illegally receiving or misusing Mom's social security, it will constitute criminal activity, possibly even elder financial abuse.

But, I'm not jumping to conclusions. It may well be that your mother gave your sister control over her finances, and your sister is being responsible and paying bills. I don't know how you know the house taxes haven't been paid, but that sounds like a real problem, you'd want to get an attorney involved to help you resolve.

Report your sister to the Social Security Dept.
When I was the social security payee representative for my friend (handling all his legal matters), I had to justify EVERY expense.

Contact an attorney.
These are legal matters.

Gena / Touch Matters

Typically, the nursing home where your mom's stayed that long (a few years) would take over the role of your sister caring for your mom. This means that the nursing home would legally obtain all (if not 75%) of your mom's finances including your mom's house and income if there is any. Whoever takes over the property will be responsible for the property taxes. Until the legal process is finalized, your sister's access to your mom's money is very temporarily short.

Who pays for nursing home? Usually if your only income is social security, it goes to NH and Medicaid pays whatever her income doesn't cover.
Mom gets to keep only $30 or $60 out of her income. There wouldn't be any other money out of her social security to pay anything for bills.
I can't imagine any NH letting mom stay without payment.
Call NH and ask if they are getting paid. If not, contact social security so they can change payee to be NH

As far as the house. She might not be selling it for 1) there is no value in it
2) there is some value in it however if mom is on Medicaid and the house is sold, then mom will become off of Medicaid and have to pay her own way until eligable again. I cannot see a disabled sister and SIL wanting to enter the home and clean it up just to sell it. Again the value just might not be there. Your sister might just be taking the easy way to avoid the filing process again. Once mom passes, then Medicaid will have a lien on it so when it is sold, the proceeds go back to the government. There might be a lien on it with the town for taxes too. So mom and her money is practically moot to you.
You might ask if you can enter the home to see if there is some momento you can take home.

Ok the determining factors in this drama are HOW is:
- the NH being paid for your moms custodial care costs. Like private pay or LTC Medicaid?
and
- what health insurance is she on and how are their premiums (if any) being paid?
and the NH needs to know this as they have to have reassurance as to the bills being paid and how health insurance billing can be done. Nh will want someone to sign off on a final responsibility agreement or contract in some way. Mom cannot stay there without some type of financial responsibility determined.

if you don’t know this ask someone in billing office in her Nh. Tell them you want to make sure mom has enough $ in her personal needs in-house account to pay for beauty shoppe (this would be a totally private pay out of pocket cost and not ever paid by Medicaid). That you just want to make sure all is ok or if not you’ll put some $ in. Be casual and nice. Billing doesn’t get visitors or if they do its someone pissed about something, so trust me on this, they will be virtual font of information as to your moms billing ledger. Also if your Sis kinda a witch, go in especially sweet and nice as they will be glad to commiserate with you on dealing with Sissy. All off the record of course.

You have to HAVE TO find out how things are being paid because if mom is on LTC Medicaid for her room & board stuff, that program has very tight compulsory requirements as to the residents $. If she is on this there is no-zero-nada of moms $ to pay for any of the still on her home property costs anymore. They have to be impoverished and stay impoverished. And both the NH and the State will require documentation as to that being and staying the case. So the NH will,have to know her financial status. As to that still in moms name property, as they have zero $ family needs to pay its costs or it defaults on taxes, insurance, utilities.

And if that is what is happening, Sis could be doing the right move. Except if she hasn’t paid property taxes (more below) Why? .the house will have to have an attempt at Medicaid Estate Recovery MERP done. Spending $ on it outside of whatever absolutely necessary is a total waste of time $ and energy as this is always the risk that MERP will be more than house is worth or that exemptions and exclusions are not feasible and any funds from the act of Sale all revert to the State. So u paid $2,345.67 for emergency plumbing work on the vacant house, too bad, so sad, as not going to be reimbursed by house sale $ for that.

now a way this can go bad is if property taxes were not paid, then the county will place it up for its annual tax sale. And if not paid up along with its hefty interest, it will be sold after 3-5 consecutive nonpayment years. Tax sale DNGAF about anything MERP related either. You can on your own scour the Co courthouse & tax assessor records to see the status on the house. The recordings give you a lot of info and you pay small fee to get a download of the documents so you know exactly what’s what’s.

so house has been sitting empty for years? If prop taxes not paid, and it has gone to seed so to speak it could have so much in tax liens and its interest and blight fees that it’s an albatross. Add MERP to the mix, you might be best to walk away from it.

The entire time my mother was in a nursing home, both private pay and using Medicaid, her whole SS check went to the nursing home to pay for her care. Our family wasn’t given any choice about it, it was simply expected as part of payment

Sounds like your sister is the POA as you mention she has papers.
She was caring directly for your mom until she could no longer, and now is managing the finances.
If you have PROOF of elder fraud then do check in with APS and present said proof of fraud to them; they will open a case to investigate.

For someone estranged from the sister you seem to claim to know an awful lot about her business.
I am sorry, but just have to let you know that siblings at war over a still living mom is one of my least favorite subjects.

Is your sister mom's POA? If she is then she does not have to give over her "access" to your mother's money or assets to anyone including the nursing home.

Never let the nursing home have access to a person's finances. Never. They will overcharge and rip a person off taking money that they are not even owed. Your sister is not allowing the nursing home to have access for this reason, she is correct.

You will have to figure out the sale of your mother's house. You can hold an estate sale for the household goods like furniture and other items. The proceeds of such a sale do not go towards the nursing home and are not counted by Medicaid. Bank accounts, insurance policies, and real estate are. No one is owed anything that is brought in by an estate sale of her household goods and furnishings.


Let me ask you a question. How do you know she hasn't been paying the bills and property taxes for your mother? Does the city/town your mother's house is in contact you about it?

As for your sister and husband seeming to always have money to go out and get a new car. How is any of that your business? Are you paying for them to go out or buy new cars? If you're not then stay out of it.

If your sister is the POA and mishandling your mother's finances she will have to answer for that, not you.

Don't trouble yourself worrying if the nursing home is soaking up every cent your mother ever had. Good for your sister if she's found a legal way for them not to bleed your LO dry.

How about talking to your sister about what's going on? No accusing and no judgments about how much recreation or what kind if car they drive. Just an honest discussion. If taxes are owed on your mother's house, the next people who buy it will be responsible for them if the house is forclosed upon and sold at auction. If it's sold before going into forclosure, the taxes can be paid out of the proceeds of the house.

Is Mom on Medicaid? If so, that SS check and any pension Mom receives goes to the NH. If it isn't going to NH, I will bet there is a balance due at the NH.

If Mom is paying privately, the NH does not get the SS and pension. If Sister has not been paying taxes for years, I am surprised the house has not gone to auction by now. You will lose your house quicker to nonpayment of taxes then not paying the Mortgage. Sis is only digging herself into a hole if Medicaid is involved. I would consult with a lawyer.

Your moms social security check is supposed to be used to pay for the cost of the nursing home minus the $50-$80(depending on which state you're in)that is left to buy incidentals for your mom, like clothing, toiletries and the like.
If your sister isn't paying the nursing home with moms SS check(which typically someone's SS check is automatically given to the nursing facility once placed)it will mean that your mom will have a huge bill due to the nursing facility here shortly, and your sister will have to pay up, as the nursing home will not continue to let your mom live there for free.
Best wishes in getting this hot mess all figured out, and if your sister and husband are up to no good with your moms money they should be VERY worried.

Is your sister your Mom's FPoA? If so, then she is supposed to be managing her money (so when you say "control" I'm not sure what that means?)

If your sister is the PoA then hopefully she knows what she's doing so that she doesn't cause your Mom to be delayed or disqualified for Medicaid, if she ever needs it (and many elderly in facilities do).

If you think your sister is perpetrating a financial crime, you will need to take your evidence to an elder law attorney. Stealing someone's SS is a felony that can result in prison time.

We are only getting your side of the story and we're not attorneys so really this forum can't help you much -- you need to see an attorney. And, if you're wrong about this you will be liable to pay the legal fees.

FYI facilities don't handle paying people's bills unless they have legal guardianship for someone.

Sis could be in trouble with SS. Mom's new address which is the facility must be reported to them. This report will reduce her monthly payments to $30 or $50 per month.

She also could be in trouble if hubby and she aren't reporting money that they're getting outside of the benefits.

She should be worried.

Who Has Power of attorney and is executor of the Will ?