I think I've mentioned this before, my therapist, who has been very helpful, gives therapy online via Skype through TALKSPACE. I am in Illinois, she is in another state. And I wanted to move to the state she lives in as I grew up there. It would be like going back home for me, and I really like it there. So almost every session she asks when I am coming to that state? When am I moving there? She reduced my rate if I promised to visit her. She'll show me a good time. She'll introduce me to her brother and family. She'll hook me up with her friends. She'll invite me to her get togethers. She hopes I consider moving to that state. She has even mentioned that I consider moving to the city she lives in. Etc. Etc. I asked her about that this week, why she always mentions it and I reminded her she is my therapist, only. And the response I got back was she was modeling that behavior because I have issues with making friends, and wants to show me that I am a likeable person. That all sounds fishy to me. And wondering what you all think about this situation. Thanks.
I always wonder how these on-line talk therapist can treat clients who live out of State. You'd think their license is only good for the State where they have their office.
It is much better to have face time with a therapist. Find someone new.
Get out of this relationship before this woman becomes more aggressive.
The business about keeping her license and treating out of state is nonsense. And what is this "company" for which she works? It's probably just some Internet site with no medical or psychological credentials at all.
Sorry, but I think you're being "played".
It should also be noted, from the article, that TalkSpace in 2015 rec'd $9.5M in investment capital - that's a whole lot of money. And angel fund investors want good returns on their investment, so there's that incentive to make money as opposed to the traditional medical model of healing (or adapting) as the goal.
These observations are particularly interesting (I can't quote directly b/c of copyright issues, so I've paraphrased):
Talkspace wans to be a "disruptive technology" to change psychotherapy practice into a contemporary living style, accessible to everyone. Imagine: "everyone" in therapy. We'll spend all our time psychoanalyzing ourselves and others.
Psychotherapy in my opinion isn't something that should be democratized, like education. And not everyone needs it, so the goal of extending it to the masses is really inappropriate, and in my opinion could be harmful.
Please, read the Forbes article. It will be well worth your time.
I have a therapist who is absolutely wonderful. In fact, were she NOT my therapist, I could see us being very god friends...HOWEVER....you should NOT have a "relationship" of any kind with your therapist outside of the office. Why is she contacting you and talking about "showing you a good time?" So inappropriate. You seem to already feel uncomfortable with her, tell her you are "good" and do not schedule any more sessions. If you do move to the city she's in, don't let her know and don't contact her.
I don't know her credentials, but therapists are held to a VERY high standard of behavior and she has already crossed way too many lines.
Have you noticed that you already have "cyber-friends" looking out for you, caring about you?
There is no charge.
They willingly came alongside to help.
Even GardenArtist has researched the therapy model for you, and I know that doing that for someone can be time consuming. If the therapy model is working for anyone, it is NOT working for this person, who is scamming you for money, and maybe getting something out of it, (called narcissistic supply?). It is a very dangerous thing to toy with a person's emotions, to say what she did, then 'explain' by saying she is 'mirroring friendship'. This is NOT something professional or therapeutic! Red flags everywhere, as your AC forum friends have said, and I agree.
There are many kinds of friendship. Please don't settle. A nearby group therapy led by a real therapist may help you. However, maybe you are already better, thinking more for yourself, but still needing just a little support?
So glad that you have come by to ask your question. Whether you continue with the online therapist or not, please make the posters here part of your friendship resource.
Since you are a male, and your therapist is female, it sounds more like she is "coming on to you".
I'm glad you've come to this conclusion. Grief is a long journey and I would hate to see a therapist take advantage of you in this way.
I've had friends so therapist for years. I am not against therapy at all but I sometimes if my friends are being exploited financially. It is a slippery slope for sure. I am glad we have this community of online friends looking out for us.
Happy to hear you are feeling better in your grief journey. I take hope for your posts because so many mirrored my own journey.
It amazes me what posters here report that their therapists/counselors say -- often the advice seems so weak as to be worthless. (Not always, but often!)
Bloomschool, for your protection, exit gracefully, but permanently. If you compliment and thank her, she hopefully won't realize that you're cutting off the relationship. If you have to, change e-mail addresses or other contact information so she can't reach you.
You went to her during a period of grief, which could be perceived as a weakness and opportunity for a therapist who exceeds boundaries. And she would likely recognize how to use that vulnerability and exploit it.
Good luck, and I hope your healing journey continues on a positive path. I think most of us probably are quite vulnerable after losing a parent.
I hate to say it even if she is helping you you need to cut this off.
If her talks were/are monitored I am sure that she would have a lot of explaining to do. I am guessing that she is pretty much not monitored.
If the supervisor was aware of her personal conversations I am sure she would be reprimanded for it.
I also suggest that if you do move do not tell her. At least for 1 year AFTER she is no longer you therapist. And I suggest that you find another as soon as possible. If you like the Talkspace ask to have a change in therapists.
This whole thing sounds a bit like a stalker if you ask me.
Lo and behold my second talk therapist was soooo much better, as she had personal experience with her own aging parents.
One thing I did was work on a family tree, as my parents had passed while in their 90's but I didn't know a whole lot about their grandparents or great-grandparents. Climbing through the family tree has been so very interesting :) I have gotten as far back of the mid 1700's.
It sounds like you have very good instincts but question your own judgment. Whenever you feel that gut feeling, listen to it! In this case, it has served you well. I agree with dropping this therapist and waiting to see if you need to see someone else. This therapist has stepped over all kinds of professional lines. If she were in a normal setting, she could probably lose her license (or should) in trying to befriend you, badgering you about when you're moving, offering to hook you up and show you a good time. All of that is unbelievably unprofessional!
My undergrad degree is in psychology and I can say that the people that I knew who went on to get advanced degrees in psychology were pretty odd people. I think social workers are usually a bit more "normal" in their personal psychology. But that' s not based on any scientific study, just personal observation.
Good luck and keep us posted. My mom died almost three months ago and I'm waiting for a year before I consider moving somewhere else. That only makes sense to me. I want to let everything settle before I consider another big change.
"Originally at Talkspace, clients and therapists were not matched by state, but in the past year we rolled out a matching system that strictly matches them by state. Clients who were already matched before then were not changed, but if you like we can have you re-matched to a therapist in your own state. Just let me know."
The client / therapist relationship is a pretty intimate one. It would be unusual for a therapist to treat a client as a friend per say, but a few clients have met their therapists outside of Talkspace just so that they could meet them in person one time. But not really as friends."
So that confirms my suspicions and I will be cancelling my subscription to their site later today. It was difficult to see the situation with any clarity when I was deep in grief. But now I see it. I was being played like a violin during therapy sessions. She helped me but was also trying to manipulate me. I am not going to mention the therapists name unless they ask for it. Although they do have the records and written text messages. But not the Skype sessions as she threw them in free. I didnt complain as I really needed help.
If you have Netflix, you might be interested in "Gypsy." It's about a therapist who crosses all sorts of boundaries with her patients.
I think you are doing the right thing by cutting all ties with her and I wish you all the best in the future.