I changed screen name, but here's the deal. Dad has 4 months of Mom's IRA, $600. a month and then it's his Social Sec.. I'm caregiver, 3 1/2 years Mom and Dad. 2 1/2 years Dad. Dad has dementia with occasional anger. Siblings will need to put in $600. to $700. a month divided by 2. When Dad passes away they want to be reimbursed for what $$$ they put in. So that is approx. $ 7200, a year, If Dad lives, say 3 more years. That's $ 21,600. taken off the sale of Dad's house, but they split it. POA sib had already tried to get me to pay $ 200. a month because I live in Dad's house free. I do everything for Dad. Shop, cook, clean, laundry, bed, meds., Doctors and whatever else needs to be done. Oh, I do all the outdoor jobs. Just the yard would be $ 45. a week. So, I told POA I wanted whatever they want reimbursed as well. Not from the beginning 6 years ago, but from whenever they start. My Aunt, Mother's sister has already told one sib they should be very grateful for me after he tried to tell her I did not keep Dad clean enough. He comes over for 2-3 hours every 2-3 months. Mom knew what was expected from her and Dad financially toward me, but they did not have the $$$. I wanted to help, so I didn't want any $$$ at all. POA did take over the bills and financial duties 3 months ago. I thought it was to help me, but has changed everything. Mom's rolling over in her grave. I now pay for this and that on $ 904. a month Social Sec. I'm unable to increase my Social Sec. because of being Caregiver and not working and adding to it from a job outside the home. Neither sib is going to like my decision, but I feel like I am being used. They think I should pay to live here and be caregiver!!! Our Aunt has volunteered to tell them both what she thinks and I am going to let her. I told POA we should get a mediator if he wanted, because after all I've done I don't see getting less than sibs doing nothing for 6 years and now have to put in $300, a month and they both are well off.
Hoping to get some form of pay after the fact is a bit wishful. Caregivers should arrange to get it while the parent is still alive or consider what they are doing a gift. The parent can write something in the will. However, if there is nothing in the will, you are not being paid now, and siblings are not willing to give you an equal share of money from the sale of the house, then you won't be able to do much about it. Sorry.
Family caregiving is a gift that often cost the caregiver a lot. Your siblings seem to see it as a gift that benefited you. You need to find a way to protect yourself financially, maybe by squirreling away as much money as you can while you're caregiving. Good luck with all this. What would be fair is not something you can depend on happening.