My dad passed away in August of this year he suffered from dementia in the last week. He was in hospice nonresponsive. I was his primary caretaker as I am to my mom now she’s 88 years old. They were together for 72 years. It’s like she’s giving up the heartbreak syndrome is real. she has declined in just about everything things that she could do before. She refuses to even try now I don’t want her to suffer but I don’t really know if I can put myself and my 14 yr old son through losing someone so soon so part of me wants to cry and beg her to hold on but the other part of me knows that she’s tired, depressed and Misses the love of her life. And then a sliver of me says I haven’t had any chance to mourn my dad‘s passing. I had to take care of her immediately afterwards I haven’t had a chance to do any of the morning. I don’t even know if I know what morning is supposed to be anymore. I just don’t know
I think I would get mom to her primary and ask they give her a complete checkup. She may be well but she might also have a health issue that could be helped.
When you mentioned heartbreak I was reminded of an old auntie who went to bed and was crying and saying, “oh, my heart, my heart” when her husband died. They were always devoted to one another, had no children. She called him sweetheart and he called her wife. Years later she had to be in the hospital and the doctors said that her tests indicated that she had a heart attack but that it wasn’t recent. We all thought of how she was when her husband died. It never occurred to us that she had a heart attack.
Perhaps your mom would benefit from an antidepressant for awhile to help her through her grief.
I am sorry you have not had a break. All of you must take care and give yourself time to recover. It is early days since your dads death. Your parents were very fortunate to have you and your son. You have a lot on you. Take extreme care. Big hugs.
My second mom lost her husband of 63 years in March a few years back, and she seemed to give up and went to be with him a few months later in May. No one was shocked or surprised as they were so close and neither would have wanted to go on without the other.
I know it's hard on you, but be grateful that your parents had such a sweet love story. We don't hear much of those anymore these days.
God bless you and your family.
We have seen many local grief/caregiver groups appearing since the COVID pandemic began, and it might be a good thing for you to seek one out for yourself, and there are similar groups for young teens. Please be sure your son has some extra support for his feelings. Have you contacted his school to let them know what’s happening at home?
This is one of the hardest situations a Loved One serving as a caregiver winds up having to endure. I salute you, and mourn with you.