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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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She lives with him and has access to all his money but me nor my other sister or brother does. only she knows what his CD's and Wal-mart stock is worth.
I have been through all of what you are explaining. My dad lives with me and my family. We have had to use his money at times to get through very difficult periods and not to lose our home. If we would have lost the house, dad would have had no where to go. People don't understand what a great deal of stress people have over financial situations. If your sister is taking care of your mom then she should be entitled to some financial help if it is legitimate. Not to just be taking the money for her use but to actually need it to survive. We work but we needed help desperately and we needed to use dads money. Please talk to your sibling about how you feel instead of assuming. Sometimes if people would just ask they would understand so much more and hard feelings would not present so often. If you feel you cannot do that then I suggest the route I went. Contact your local area on aging and explain that you thing elder fiduciary abuse is taking place with your parent by your sibling. They will assign someone free of charge to investigate where the money is and how it is being spent. If it is determined that your sister is using money that she is not permitted to be using she will have to give it back and they will check all the bank accounts and the money coming in and out of it. She must be POA and she must disclose where the money is going. If she cannot account for the money a new POA must be put into place to handle all the financials and this takes your sister out of the loop and cannot have access to the funds. She cannot have his money intertwined with hers at all. SHE MUST ACCOUNT FOR ALL EXPENSES THAT SHE USES THE MONEY FOR.... These things are most difficult for both sides but must be done for your dad's welfare. Sometimes we need to put our emotions asisde and do what needs to be done for our parents. Please don't hesitate to call your local area on aging. Again it is free of charge and will help you get the peace of mind you need for what's best for all involved especially your dad.
I agree with Whitney - is she the sole caregiver?? Did Dad willingly give her the money?? Are you sure Dad really has as much money as you think? (My husbands adult kids thought he had a lot. Ex-wife ( not their mother) cleaned him out in divorce (he trusted her to do right thing). All before my time. I informed them they should go to her for "his money" as that's where it was. I am truly the lucky one because I have him. Be sure Dad is not inflating his fortune - my husband was embarassed that ex took it all. For what ever the reason Dad may not have had what you think he had. Other than having him go with you to attorney to set up trust, etc. - or having him declared incompetent and putting court over his affairs - there's not much you can do.
First, how do you "know" she "stole" the money or how much she took?? Did your father tell you she took it, or did he give it to her? Perhaps he wants her to have it for all she does for him?? I suggest you get all of the details before you accuse her of theft.
Since she lives with him, was she his caregiver? If so, some parents leave more money to the offspring who was the caregiver, as the caregiver gave their time to help their elderly folks, when possibly other offspring did not. If she was the main caregiver, then she deserves more money. Could you elaborate a little more on the situation?
I was in this situation about a year ago, but not quite as much money was involved. If this is true, get a lawyer and take your dad with you, if he is able, and get Power of Attorney for all powers. I don't know if you have a Will, but this might be a good time to get one and put all assets in a trust. APS won't be much help unless your dad is not being taken care of or is being abused. If your dad won't give you POA, call the District Attorney and launch an investigation into the suspected fraud. I wouldn't wait. In our situation, we did change the Will, got all powers in a POA to stop any further stealing of monies. We now have everything in Trust, even the house deed. This sibling had also tried to sell mom's home without me knowing, and had also convinced mom to make her the only beneficiary on all life policies. It's amazing what lengths people will go to for money. Disgusting.
If you know this for a fact, then contact a lawyer experienced in handling elder situations. You might contact your local Adult Protective Services for additional help. I don't know about filing a police report at this point. Others on the forum have probably experienced this and will have much better advice for you.
Very sad situation your family is facing. Is your Dad aware of what is going on? Good luck and God bless!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I informed them they should go to her for "his money" as that's where it was.
I am truly the lucky one because I have him.
Be sure Dad is not inflating his fortune - my husband was embarassed that ex took it all. For what ever the reason Dad may not have had what you think he had.
Other than having him go with you to attorney to set up trust, etc. - or having him declared incompetent and putting court over his affairs - there's not much you can do.
Very sad situation your family is facing. Is your Dad aware of what is going on?
Good luck and God bless!