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My wife is bored here in Florida: all the snowbirds are gone and she has no activities to keep her busy.Back up north are all her best friends and activities daily in our senior apartment. Her Do tor here feels change is not good. I disagree.my adult kids are worried if we relocate she may no longer recognize them. I want to go but don't want to hurt the kids.

Last time you asked this question on May 9, you received 17 comments. Did you not read them? Perhaps you did not like them and hope you'll get different answers now?

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-wife-has-dementia-and-we-are-snowbirds-in-florida-her-pa-says-returning-to-our-home-for-a-month-w-498637.htm

Your wife with dementia is going to decline whenever her environment changes. Period.

Do as you wish but don't say you weren't warned.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Are you sure you aren’t the one who is bored? And what does this have to do with her forgetting her kids? Did you forget you asked this question already?
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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In your last post I suggested you pick a state to live in permanently. That would be the State where there is family and resources to help you care for your wife. You are jot going to be able to travel State to State. Your wife will have problems adjusting every time you move.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Why can’t there be new activities where she is? You can’t throw a rock in Florida without hitting a senior center filled with choices of activities. There’s also adult daycare programs to give you a break. Disregard a doctor with years of training and experience at your wife’s peril
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Once again...
Ultimately this is your decision.
But I would like to think that the choices you make now would be in her best interest.
I am going to burst your bubble here a bit.
1. Her friends will NOT stick around for long. They will move on and continue to do things that your wife will not be able to do. And that may happen sooner rather than later.
She will not be able to maintain conversations when out to lunch.
A menu will begin to confuse her.
She will want to leave far sooner than the group wants to.
She will not be able to continue playing cards, Mahjong, tennis or whatever. they do.
She will be embarrassed by her incontinence, her inability to follow conversation, unable to find the right words.
Because of all this they will stop calling, stop inviting her.
This Will happen with her friends both in the North and the South.

You/She will have to find activities that she can manage. An Adult Day Program would be ideal.
You may think that she is "not that bad" and "does not need day care" but getting a break in a program where she is understood, has projects that she can follow, has contact with others that have similar problems is a relief. She does not have to pretend or make believe she can relax and just be herself with no judgement. (and her friends will judge)

As I mentioned before in your last post...travel with someone with dementia is a whole 'nuther thing. It is not easy.
Travel by car...you almost can't sleep for fear they will leave the hotel room, they will wander off while you go to the washroom. Where and how to change a soiled brief and soiled clothes at a rest stop.
Travel by air. the confusion in an airport with all the noise and all the people. Going through security can be tricky.
What happens when you are mid flight and she wants to leave?
What happens when you get to your home in the north and she wants to "go home"?

As difficult as it is accept that your daughters are right and that she should remain where she is.
If you want to go North for a while...go.

I guess the real question is where do you want to spend your time with her.
Where is it that you will get the family support that you will need.
Where is it that you will be able to get the help that you will need.
If the answer is in the South with your daughters then your wife should remain there.
Maybe...just maybe it is time to clip your wings. Make one last trip North and get your house ready for sale and begin that process.
The sale of the house will allow you to help pay for her care. It will remove one financial burden from your life.

I am thinking that you made another post about this topic hoping that you will get the answer you want. Sorry but life does not work that way. I am sure many of us on this site would want something different that what life has handed us but you play the cards you are dealt and make the best of it.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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lealonnie1 May 24, 2026
The guaranteed way to lose friends is to get dementia. You'll never see them again. I watched my mother's friends, and even family members who "loved her so", disappear one by one once her dementia started advancing. Sad but true.
(1)
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Your wife's doctor is correct. Uprooting your wife to take her back up north could be very detrimental to her well-being at this point as I'm sure you're aware that folks with dementia do much better with their daily routine not being disrupted, as that is very hard on their mental status.
So I think you're going to have to make a choice as to where you want to live with her now permanently, either in Florida or back home up north.
In the meantime while you're deciding, get your wife involved at an Adult Daycare Center there in Florida as they do a great job with folks with dementia. She can be there up to 5 days a week and 8 hours per day, and they will serve breakfast, lunch and a snack and have all kinds of different activities to keep her as busy as she'd like to be.
I wish you well in making the best decision for the 2 of you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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You have to do what is best for your wife. If you do no agree with the doctor, you can get a second and third opinion, but at what point does it become doctor shopping just to get the answer you want.
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Reply to JustAnon
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