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my husbands family don't want him to go to a nursing home.He has a lot of medical porbles for one he has demintia. And he is very angry with me.

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staying with this topic,just the reverse my wife is the same way she had a mental breakdown and was institutionalized about 20 years ago,on top of that she has had many other health problems,I've been her sole companion and caregiver our children grown and moved away ,this last year her health took a turn for the worst with a heart attack and her mind getting more and more confused,at one point this year she made me a POA but then got mad and said she cancelled it.
She has her own checking and savings ,she is currently in the hospital not doing to well, I don't know what to do,the bank told me I could get on the checking account but not the savings ,she is unable to handle her own affairs now and she does not have a will,what are my legal rights and how can I check about thePOA
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My husband has dementia. There was a period early on when paranoia was one of his symptoms. He was sure I was stealing money from him and would be very suspicous of any papers I wanted him to sign. But he also had periods when he was completely lucid and understood what was said to him and could discuss even complicated issues. Our elder lawyer said if he wasn't lucid when she brought the papers out to be signed she'd come back another time. Fortunately he was fine and could discuss the documents with her rationally.

Your husband may be angry because he thinks you will put him in a nursing home, or he may simply be angry because he has dementia and he isn't thinking rationally right now. You have to do what is best for the both of you, even if he cannot understand and appreciate that now.

Most people don't want their loved ones to go to a nursing home. His family may think they are trying to look out for his interests. But unless they know the situation intimately they aren't really qualified to decide what is best for him. Living with him, seeing him in good periods and also at his worst, you are the one who has to make decisions about what is best.

Does someone else have POA now? Does your husband have periods when he is "with it" enough to understand the POA concepts?
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Did he appoint someone else as POA? As a spouse, you have rights, anyway. He may be angry about going to a nursing home, but if you can't care for him safely at home, then it's a necessary move. If his family gives you trouble, you may want to check with an elder law attorney just for backup. Good luck,
Carol
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