My mom has everything in a trust which names my brother and I co-trustees when she can no longer handle her affairs. She has alzheimers and is not legal to drive according to the results of the eye exam I just took her to. My question is my brother and I are going to meet and tell her she can no longer live alone and she can move in with which ever one she chooses. We both live 2 or more hours away. If she will willingly appoint us as her trustees what do we need to do to start the process? Do we go to her bank? Her attorney that drew up the trust was in private practice and is deseased. Do we begin at the courthouse? I know if she won't willingly give up her trustee to us then we have a bigger problem. The document states that her doctor and attorney have to agree that it is in her best interest to turn it over to my brother and I. Any help in this matter would be appreciated.
Thanks!
Marilyn
Best wishes to you and your brother and special acknowledgement for your loving kindness to take her into your homes. There are many examples on this site where families work together to ease the burden of caring for a loved one.
I also agree with finding a good attorney. My mom's is elderly and very difficult to work with, because he is disorganized and slow because of his age and declining abilities. Ask your neighbors and friends for someone who is conveniently located to you so that you can pop into his or her office easily, when it becomes necessary for you to do that more frequently.
Part of what helped was that I tried to give him as much say in the process as possible. As an example, he came to visit and the two of us visited all of the independent and assisted living facilities together. It was pretty clear which were appropriate and which were not. Also, my sister and I are co-trustees and can sign separately. We trust each other and this is a good arrangement for us. If something were to happen to one of us, the trust can continue to operate smoothly.
Good luck. (I would suggest one be trustee, not two)