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Who are you caring for?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My mom is more mean to me since my sister won't talk to her and I've been the one taking care of her for 3 years. She admits sometimes she treats me like a robot and then will deny it.
Your mom is probably taking her anger at your sister out on you. You don't say what her age is or if she has dementia, but if she does have mental issues, trying to reason with her and ask her why she is treating you like this isn't going to work. Even if she doesn't have dementia, you may not be able to reason with her. She won't willingly admit that she's being mean to you.
Take care of your own issues. I take Xanax and it helps tremendously.
Caring for seniors or those who have dementia can be extremely stressful. To me, it's crucial to get support from others and use any available resources. Try to pace yourself. I'd also discuss it with your doctor and ask for suggestions. Respite time is vital. I'd also try to learn some coping skills and keep some of your own interests if possible. Caregiving can take over your life and before you know it, you have missed out on your own enjoyment.
I used to have panic attacks years ago, but, it wasn't related to caregiving. My primary really helped me. I learned all I could about them, learned coping techniques for warding them off when I felt them coming on and had medication as a backup. Once, I was well informed, all I needed was the backup of having the meds available. Just knowing they were there, just in case, helped me. They are so scary. You can't know what it's like until you have one. There is hope though. They can be treated. I was so relieved that mine went away and have not resurfaced in many years, even though, I have suffered severe stress with caregiving. I hope you can find some help. Take care of yourself.
If it turns out I need to be on something, I will do it willingly. I am only holding off now so I can be sure not to miss any signs with 96 yr DH.
There are also foods you can eat - cashews work wonders with depression and anxiety. Google foods for anxiety - you might be surprised at what you find.
I don't live with my mother but I do help out with her care. I can't think of the last time I didn't take a little something to keep me calm (benzodiazepine, like Xanax) so I can deal with her and not want to scream, or cry. She's just very narcissistic and unaware of anyone but herself most of the time. This is not new behavior, but I go crazy around her.
Sadly, I have the same kind of relationship with my 4th daughter. I am her "primary stressor" and SHE has to take something so she won't scream at me. It's just lovely all around.
I can control the amt of time and WHEN I see my mother, and my daughter simply call screens me (she lives 3000 miles away) and so I almost never see her. She only speaks to me when she can "handle" it. 4 months, now. Kinda sad to be on both sides of this equation.
No one should take abuse of any kind. If Mom has Dementia is one thing you have to keep telling yourself its the Dementia. She won't remember what she says and...try not to take it personally. Its hard I know. Dementia or not you have to set boundries. Tell Mom you r an adult and you no longer will take her abuse. If she continues, don't argue, walk away and go to another room or go home if thats an option.
I have learned over the years that when dealing with an elderly parent with dementia, you cannot take anything personally. With that said, might I suggest doing a few things for yourself. Bring someone in and take some time for yourself, meditate (it's great for calming yourself down and grounding yourself for the day), essential oils (they are great for all kinds of things, but absolutely can help with anxiety and panic attacks), and also check with your doctor. There could be other things going on, so it would be worth a trip to the doctor. I'm a firm believer that we have the power to heal ourselves with some help at times. I'm not big on taking medication if it's not absolutely necessary. My doctor wanted to increase my blood pressure medication due to the stress I am under with my mom. He wanted to increase it before my blood pressure started to go up!! I told him no, I wasn't going to do that. If the next time I came to see him, my blood pressure was up, then we could talk about it. So, the next time I saw him, my blood pressure was the same. So, no change in med necessary. But I did that thru a number of things: exercise, healthier eating, meditation, more and better sleep to name a few things. Good luck.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Take care of your own issues. I take Xanax and it helps tremendously.
I used to have panic attacks years ago, but, it wasn't related to caregiving. My primary really helped me. I learned all I could about them, learned coping techniques for warding them off when I felt them coming on and had medication as a backup. Once, I was well informed, all I needed was the backup of having the meds available. Just knowing they were there, just in case, helped me. They are so scary. You can't know what it's like until you have one. There is hope though. They can be treated. I was so relieved that mine went away and have not resurfaced in many years, even though, I have suffered severe stress with caregiving. I hope you can find some help. Take care of yourself.
If it turns out I need to be on something, I will do it willingly. I am only holding off now so I can be sure not to miss any signs with 96 yr DH.
There are also foods you can eat - cashews work wonders with depression and anxiety. Google foods for anxiety - you might be surprised at what you find.
Sadly, I have the same kind of relationship with my 4th daughter. I am her "primary stressor" and SHE has to take something so she won't scream at me. It's just lovely all around.
I can control the amt of time and WHEN I see my mother, and my daughter simply call screens me (she lives 3000 miles away) and so I almost never see her. She only speaks to me when she can "handle" it. 4 months, now. Kinda sad to be on both sides of this equation.