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Good evening everyone. Several years ago my mother, of sound mind at the time, set up a supplemental needs trust for my younger sister, who is on welfare, has had alcohol and drug problems in the past, and may suffer from schizoaffective disorder. My mother is still alive but has dementia with paranoia. The trust names me and my brother as trustees with my other sister as alternate trustee. I also have DPOA over Mom's legal and financial affairs, I am her alternate health care proxy, and I will be her personal representative after her death. Younger sister has insisted I give her a copy of the trust as she is very worried she will lose her benefits, including housing, SSDI, etc., upon Mom's death. Sister wants to know details of the trust, and how its provisions will affect her benefits. The trust, and not younger sister, is named as a beneficiary. Younger sister has threatened me with legal action for violation of fiduciary duties. The trust is very clear that trustees can seek paid professionals to guide all concerned parties through the maze of the state's welfare system. I want to resign as co-trustee as I have had enough of sister's bullying. I know that is a harsh charge but sister has been very dissatisfied with my care of Mom. I simply do not want the responsibility of being a trustee. I live in MA and I have done some research into the proper form of a trustee resignation letter. If anybody has had a similar experience, please offer your thoughts and suggestions. I am sorry for the poor wording of my question but I have been dealing with legal, financial, medical, and housing issues for almost four years and I really want to minimize complications after Mom's death. Thank you all for your advice.
I would give a copy of the trust to younger sister, but I am afraid she will share it with her psychiatrist, who is a very important figure in her life. I am not sure I even have the right to give younger sister a copy, but if sister is able to review it this may reassure her that she will continue to receive benefits. Mom's attorney has not given me much guidance. Goodnight

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Hi again, Wheat.

No one has to serve as Trustee BUT ONCE TO ACCEPT serving it is not always easy to get out of it!!!!! Much like guardianship, the resignation as Trustee is a legal court action with attorneys at your side.

This is a real lawyer question. You admit that your Trust allows you to seek expert advice and that's what you need now.
I want to encourage you to pass this Trustee-ship on. But do know that is a legal action. And not always EASY to get out of being Trustee once you accepted it. A Judge must release you from the duty and often they are hesitant to do so. Look up online "resignation of trustee" and you will see that the remaining family often has to "agree" that you "CAN" resign. The best thing quite honesty to get out of being Trustee is to say you are NOT ABLE to serve due to lack of knowledge, illness, etc.

So see an attorney on this one, and good luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I was trustee of my daddys trust. I had five siblings and only one gave me a problem. He threatened and called me everything under the sun. He called social services and wanted to sue me. He did not have the finances to sue me and I told him so. I went to an elder attorney and discussed this with him. I was in the right and it was the best money I ever spent. Yes it was a hassle but I was thinking of my daddy and what was best for him. Looking at your question your sister that is alternative trustee I hope has the ability to handle this if you do step down if not you can talk to an elder attorney and they can advise you on what to do. Also, I could be wrong but the trust does not have to be shared with the person not named in the trust but talk to your lawyer first - also think about does your sibling who is giving you a hard time have the finances to take you to court?
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Reply to Ohwow323
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AlvaDeer Aug 14, 2024
EXCELLENT advice from someone who's been there.
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We created a trust and I know it can be more challenging to manage than basic PoA duties. Part of the reason we created a trust is so that if my husband and I become demented, we can't drain our reserves making poor decisions and leave our sons having to deal with a hot mess. Your Mom was wise to create a trust for your sister. I don't think the Trustee is under any obligation to be shown the document -- and I doubt that she'd be able to interpret what it means without paying an attorney to help.

That being said, what are the conditions of the trust? Does your sister have to be cognitively incapacitated in order for the trustee to manage and make decisions in her best interests? If she doesn't meet that criteria, then what? This is what I'd ask the trust banker. You can also consider hiring a manager who would act as a buffer between you and she. I've not done this but if I were in your position I'd consider this first.

I don't have any idea how you would resign as Trustee. I'm sure you can... does the document say what happens if something happens to the Trustee? If this is in the document it may give you some guidance as to what to do and how.

I wish you all the best as you work your way out of this "job".
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Reply to Geaton777
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Looks like there are other Trustees so should be no problem stepping down. Your other sister takes your place.

I have a disabled Nephew. He had 50k from his deseased mother's insurance policy that kept him from getting help. I was able to get him a Special Needs Trust where the 50k was placed and Medicaid is the beneficiary. This trust cannot be used for food, lodging or utilities, all of which you can get help for. It will pay his cable and phone bills. It pays for things that may not be covered by the benefits he now receives. I am trustee and very seldom touch it. Your sister should not be able to touch it. I just gave my nephew a copy of what the trust will cover. In part because he has a coordinator who needs to know so he knows what help nephew needs.

You need to read the trust. I don't think it ends at Moms death and I don't think sister will loose benefits she has. I would hope that it was drawn up knowing sister was getting help so Medicaid rules etc were taken into consideration.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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So sorry to hear about this. Such sticky situations we can get into with siblings and other more distant "family" with mental health issues. Sounds like you mean well, but are just tired of all the time and aggravation it takes to deal with it all. Can you ask to make a visit (even virtually) with the psychiatrist and sister to try to explain what you explained here? May take her months to see the reality of these complicated financial maneuvers and to see it's in her best interest to work with you and not attack. As a last resort, you can ask for a guardian from the courts; It takes some time and money, as there will be at least 2 lawyers involved in petitioning the court. Keep us posted. (There are also advocates you can get as third parties to help your sister make decisions rather than you. Check with your local Association for Aging & Disability. Every county has at least resource lists.
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