After a hip, femur, and multiple lumbar fractures, my mother spent 5 months in and out of assisted living, rehab, and 6 visits to the hospital. She never walked again, and succumbed to CHF, kidney failure, and pneumonia.
When doctors knew the end was near, we placed her in hospice at the hospital where she had been treated for months. I did not want her to die alone, or with strangers.
Two weeks ago, when her heart stopped, my brother and I screamed for a nurse. My mother was pronounced dead by four medical personnel at 5:23pm. To everyone's shock, at 5:26pm, and then again at 5:29pm, my mother took huge, open mouthed breaths. The nurses were in shock. All of them said they had NEVER seen anything like it. Two nurses jumped back each time, as if they were freaked out by what had just happened.
Please help me understand how and why this happened. It has haunted me since the day my mother died.
Those were called agonal breaths, and they can occur after the heart stops beating for up to several minutes. They were not like normal breathing that would be capable of sustaining life, or her trying to breathe because she needed to, but just her body's reaction to her heart stopping and not pushing oxygenated blood to her brain. I hope this helps...
My dad was pronounced 'dead' and his heart kept beating, irregularly for about 3-4 minutes. He didn't breathe, just the heartbeat.
The body has a kind of 'electrical system' that doesn't always shut down immediately at death. You just saw an example of that. Sometimes people will gasp, sometimes they will continue to have a pulse--but for all intents and purposes, they are gone. The medical personnel kind of jumped the gun at declaring your mom deceased.
She was gone, why should this haunt you? Do you feel you should have had her resuscitated? Because that wouldn't have happened w/o some major effort and in the end, she was going to pass.
Just because a couple of nurses had never seen anything like this, doesn't mean anything. Everyone's death is personal to them. I'm sure others will come on here and tell even more 'odd' stories.
Please don't dwell on the last few minutes of mom's life. She was so sick, and obviously ready to die. I'm really sorry it took a dramatic turn.
Ah--Elizabeth Y gave the word that I couldn't remember as to what these gasps for air are called!!
Dying isn't like flipping off a switch, different bodily functions take longer to shut down that others.
I would accept what you experienced as part of the process. As a physical reaction. I have personally heard groans & seen movements that were attributed to releasing air & electrical/muscle spasms.
I suppose I think of those last moments as fading away, little by little, before all the light has gone.
You & your brother were blessed to be there at the ending.
May you find peace.