What are the steps taken when a parent dies in a nursing home?

Question

What are the steps taken when a parent dies in a nursing home?

Follow

Share

I’m lost with what I need to do w/my mom’s body when she passes away in the nursing home.

She has Medicaid & Medicare.

She or I have no $ to pay for her to be cremated.

I have no funeral home in mind to cremate her or anything of that nature.

Who would pick up my mom’s body, where would they take her?

I don’t know the steps involved, who to call, etc.

Please help.

End of Life Funeral Planning Skilled Nursing Facility

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

38 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

1 2

Hanging, have you talked to the SW at the NH about this issue?

Helpful Answer (9)

Report

Start a conversation with the NH social worker. He/she should be able to guide you. Medicaid typically pays for limited funeral related costs. You may find more online by doing a search for "medicaid funeral services and the name of your state".
You are right to want to be prepared. Keep askng questions.

Helpful Answer (12)

Report

The County Coroner's office will take the body and can help, along with state, to either bury or cremate the body.

Helpful Answer (6)

Report

What county?

(2)

Report

I imagine you aren't the first family at this nursing home that has had this dilemma, ask the social worker what others have done. I found an article on line you may find helpful:

http://www.us-funerals.com/funeral-articles/indigent-burials-and-cremations.html

Helpful Answer (11)

Report

NH wants body removed Immediately

(3)

Report

I'm sure the staff at the nursing home has had to deal with this before and can help. If you want to research on your own, then the coroner in the county where your mom resides should be able to explain what happens when someone dies and the person or their relatives cannot afford a burial.

On the off chance you're thinking that funerals always cost many thousands of dollars, then you may want to check out "low cost cremation" options which may only cost $1000 or $1500. (No viewing, remains delivered in a cardboard box, basically they arrange to claim the body and have it cremated, and that's it.)

I hope you're able to find some information to reassure you that it will be taken care of one way or another.

Helpful Answer (6)

Report

I'm prepaying for my funeral. It's through an insurance company. Cost $585, plus $80 for 4 dead certificates, only one is free. Total cost $665 and the price is locked in. No showing, cremation, box for ashes, your body will be picked up by the funeral home. It only cost me $21 some change and in 3 years it's all payed for. Takes the burden off your children/family.

(6)

Report

My uncle, my dad’s brother who was single with no children felt the simplest thing to do was to donate his body to science. He suffered terribly with cancer due to being a life long smoker. He was pleased to know that his body would be used to aid in helping others who were suffering with cancer.

I would speak to the NH to see what options may be available in your area. Take care.

Helpful Answer (12)

Report

Hi Hangingon,

Is your mom still on hospice or did they remove her from that program? If someone passes away while on hospice, I believe you call the hospice nurse. (I believe that's who we called; it might have been a different number but it was in the hospice folder they gave us.) They send someone to the nursing home to confirm that the person is passed and they transport them. At least that is what ours did. Otherwise the nursing home should be able to tell you what to do. If you are not with your mom when she passes, I believe the nursing home would contact you and most likely contact the coroner's office but definitely just ask them. They will understand that you are concerned about it.

I would start by talking to the NH social worker, and if your mom is still on hospice, phone their contact person as well. I don't know if this would apply in your mom's case, but Illinois is supposed to have a program through DHS that will help pay for the cost of cremation and/or burial. I will message you the link. But the social worker might be able to help you with more information.

I hope you are doing ok and that your mom isn't in pain. Hugs to you.

Helpful Answer (11)

Report

When my mom died in her NH she was on hospice and pronounced dead by the NH doctor.

We had our mother’s funeral prepaid and they were called by the NH staff. My mom died at 3am, she was taken to the funeral home by 6am.

Hospice doesn’t transport people here.

I imagine you are stressed knowing all this. Funerals are expensive. I hope you get resources to work with you to solve this. I too would speak to the NH SW.

I sincerely hope you can resolve this so you can spend time with your mom during her last days on earth. You have been such a good son to her.

Helpful Answer (7)

Report

Hi Hangingon

It is good you're asking this through a trying time. What will probably happen if you don't have a funeral home set up, the NH would call the county coroner to have her removed, since they probably don't have the means to keep the body from starting to decompose. You would then be dealing with them. Your mom could stay at the office until further arrangements could be made. Contact the city your where mom lives as well. They may have a contract a funeral home where the funeral home picks up the body, cremated it, and you're given the ashes in a box, at no cost to you (taxpayers pay the tab).

Helpful Answer (6)

Report

Go talk to the NH's social worker. They'll help you.

Helpful Answer (9)

Report

I would speak to the nursing home's social worker. I think there may be a small allowance from Medicaid or Medicare for funeral expenses depending on the state you are in. The social worker should be able to guide you in this, which funeral home to use, and how this process will work. Is your mom on hospice? The hospice staff may also know something about how the process will work. I wish you well.

Helpful Answer (7)

Report

Have you considered donating her body for science? Contact any major university that is close to you and ask if they have this type of program. Once they are done with the body, they pay for cremation and return the cremated remains to the family. All of this is done at no cost.

Helpful Answer (8)

Report

No, that’s not something I’d want to do w/my mom’s body.

(0)

Report

I am terribly sorry to hear of your loss. It is a VERY stressful time for you and your family. My condolences.

I am wondering if I am missing some info from your post. When a resident died in a nursing home, it is the duty of the nursing home to advise you what your options are. You should not be left high and dry with no help. I agree with many posters on here that you should start with the NH’s social worker.

Again, my condolences for your loss.

Helpful Answer (6)

Report

Options are to get person out immediately,since no way to keep body "fresh"

(0)

Report

My husband and I got divorced about a year before my MIL passed away. He died just 5 1/2 months after our divorce. Her daughter had my calls blocked so the only way I had to contact her was via e-mail. The nursing home called me because they needed to know what to do with my MIL. I explained the situation to them. They tried to call the daughter and because it was long distance she wouldn't take their calls either. So I had to e-mail her to tell her that her mom was dead. I felt it was a horrible way to have to tell someone their loved one had died. But had no choice. She called the nursing home and took care of it from there. The weird thing was, she said she couldn't take any long distance calls because she might have to pay for them. She wasn't the brightest bulb in the pack if you know what I mean. Sometimes I wish I had just had my mil put in the space we had for her in Florida and not even bothering to tell her daughter. I was doing everything else for her mother (gladly as I did love the woman) so probably could have gotten away with it. But I know I did the right thing by figuring out how to contact her daughter. But back to your question, first step is talk to the nursing home. They will walk you through what you need to do.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

My mom is in a nursing home in Canada. The nurse asked us if we had any arrangements made when mom first went in at the same time she asked if we had a DNR signed. I've made arrangements for a funeral home to pick up and cremate her. I needed to make plans for my own peace of mind knowing I would not make the best decisions after 'the call'.
We're using a simple cremation as we want to take the ashes to England.

Helpful Answer (6)

Report

Select a funeral home near the nursing home. The funeral director will take care of everything else when you call upon your Mom’s passing. The nursing home might also be able to direct you in what to do. Cremation is probably the cheapest way. Since you will have to pay something (unless your Mom is a charity case), you should probably go with cremation. So many are choosing that today, in spite of ability to pay.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

Some funeral homes are next to or down the street from NH

(0)

Report

Some universities return the body to the family when they have finished with their research, as they do here. Make sure you ask the appropriate questions.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

But keep in mind, it takes several YEARS to get the body back. It is not at all a fast process. It’s a long one.

(3)

Report

I believe that if you donate the body to research they cremate the remains or return them to you. It would be your choice. If you receive the remains I would imagine you would have to go through a funeral home to bury them. Ashes you can keep. Hope this helps. I am facing a similar situation. I have an appointment with a funeral home to see what pre pay will cost. I know it will be a whole lot easier on me if I know what is going to happen ahead of time. It will be bad enough to lose my brother. I am doing it for myself also.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

Dear Montanacmm, Loosing a sibling is very difficult. I was able to make a Burial Account at my mother's bank. We choose to put $10,000.00 aside. With this type of account you name an undertaker. Any monies not used are returned to the estate. This money cannot be taken for care or bill payment purposes. Might be simpler than a pre pay arrangment.

(2)

Report

Losing a parent is difficult and adding another stress is not good for you. Here is some information that should help you.
1.     Talk with the social worker at the NH as they should be able to assist/guide to resources.
2.     Call Medicaid to ask if your mother can put away any funds for final arrangements.
3.     Here’s link to site with helpful information: https://www.needhelppayingbills.comhtml/help_with_funeral_costs.html
4.     If your mom was on SS, check with them.
5.     If the estate, closest living relative and other next of kin relatives lack the funds to pay for a funeral, the person handling the death can sign a release form at the coroner's office. The form is a declaration that you are unable to afford to bury or cremate the family member. Once signed, it releases the body to the corner to handle the remains. If your family wishes to receive the ashes, a fee may be charged for their return.
6.     https://www.funeralwise.com/2018/01/22/how-to-pay-for-a-funeral-when-there-isnt-any-money

Helpful Answer (12)

Report

If her death is expected, she would probably qualify for Hospice, which is a Medicare benefit and can be given to people who live in nursing homes and/or are also on Medicaid. If she's on Hospice, the hospice social worker can do a lot to assist you in figuring this out.

Or if not, definitely the nursing home's social worker, who has dealt with this question a few hundred times before.

Donating a body to science can be the lowest-cost option. In a city location, transport can be free or very low-cost, and the receiving organization takes care of the rest. In most cases you can have the ashes returned to you later if you like -- probably in 1-2 years. A side benefit is that most medical schools hold an annual Memorial Service for their cadavers, which can be quite beautiful. Relatives are invited.

You can arrange this with a specific local medical school or other research organization in advance, by filling out their paperwork and giving a copy to the NH. There are also organizations that will do all of that for you with a simple form that she can sign while alive, in which case all you have to do is tell the NH that when she dies they are to call that number.

Direct cremation can also be very low-cost.

Many hospitals and NH's want the body out of the room within 3-4 hours. Some have a chill-room morgue where the body could stay for a day or two, but many NHs do not, so having transport arranged in advance will save a lot of hassle.

In addition to the great links from Autumn50, there's also the Funeral Consumers Alliance at www.funerals.org -- a network of volunteers with lots of info on cost-saving.

Helpful Answer (4)

Report

I just went through this 2 months ago when Mom died at her apartment in assisted living. I'm sure that different states or counties have different requirements but here is my experience....
I knew Mom was dying and we have a doctor who makes house calls....yes they do exist. He went to see her and with the facility medical director, Mom's best friend, and me all present he examined her and asked her how far we wanted to take her care. (She had a DNR, living will and medical POA naming me as her POA). She clearly told him she wanted no invasive treatment, just keep her comfortable and free of pain. Then outside of the apartment, and away from her hearing, the doctor explained the process. He felt she would not last more than 2-3 weeks. The ALF nurse will call the coroner and funeral director of my choice. Because Mom was under a physician's care the coroner would not order an autopsy but had to be notified to release the body to the funeral director. Her physician would sign the death certificate which the funeral director would order for me as many copies as I wished. (It is cheaper to get them upfront rather than run out and have to order more.) Mom passed away around midnight and the ALF nurse called me to let me know and offered that if I wished to come see Mom, I could. She called the funeral home and they got an immediate release from the coroner so they picked up the body at about 2:00AM. I was getting ready to call the funeral director that morning but he called me before I could dial him. We met with him that afternoon to make arrangements. In Illinois, the funeral home notifies Social Security of the death so I didn't have to do that. I did need to meet with her bank as I was beneficiary of her IRA, and I was co-owner of her checking account. I notified her pension company and had to leave her checking account open so they could retrieve any pre-paid benefits deposited after she died. We did have money to pay her funeral bill but some states have a fund for indigent decedents that will pay for cremation. I also notified doctors and dentists with whom she had appointments scheduled. I had already notified her priest that she was nearing the end so he was prepared when I called him.
I have to say the hardest part of the process for me was deciding who to ask to be pall bearers. She was 93 so many of the people she would have chosen had pre-deceased her. And once I made the decision who to ask, finding their phone numbers was a bit of a difficulty.

Helpful Answer (6)

Report

Ask the nursing director - they have a process that they do & have been through this many times before - the funeral home will come during the night or at meal times so that other residents don't see & become distressed - the staff are your best source of info but talk to senior staff as they know more of the paperwork that you might have to sign -

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

They actually try to sneak the deceased out? Common practice here is to have an announcement to allow staff and anyone else interested to form an honour guard, it's not as though the people living there don't know death is all around them.

(6)

Report

See 2 more replies

You have gotten some really good advive here. But I may offer one more tid-bit. You can call your local Funeral homes and ask them if they offer assistance for low income on cremations. In my city, we have a Funeral Home who will bury kids for free and they started another Funeral Home in 2004 for people of low income. For example, if you use their main Funeral Home for cremation it can cost $3000.00 to $4000.00, but if you use their smaller company for cremation it is only $1200.00 this included removement of the body. I know this because I have use them. You would be surprise on how some Funeral Homes have programs to help low income families.

Helpful Answer (3)

Report

For cremation it is not wise to use a funereal home as they are much more expensive. Most area's have crematoriums that you can hire to take care of everything, thus not having to pay for a funereal director. Who then calls a crematorium to do it anyway. A lot of cremations are done for under $1000.00. My sister's was only $700.00 and my brothers was more expensive because of the urn my sister-in-law chose. You can hire them and they will pick up the body,cremate it and put it either in an urn for burial or just a box for scattering. They even can arrange for a service if you want.

(5)

Report

See 2 more replies

If you could raise enough money to afford cremation prior to her passing, you would call the funeral home that would be doing the cremation to pick up the body. I think maybe some funeral homes may arrange payment plans or allow you to put it on a charge card. We had arranged part of my Mom's funeral prior to her passing and put down a deposit. When she passed (in Nursing Home Hospice), my sister was with her and she called the funeral home to come pick up the body. They started funeral proceedings and billed us the balance later. They should be able to arrange some sort of payment plan for you.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

PS In response to another post, I will add that, yes, some people have donated their bodies. I have an Aunt & Uncle who did this. It was to the UT Medical school at Memphis around 25 - 30 yrs ago. Then my cousin had a memorial service at a local church soon after. My Mom had actually looked into this as an option for herself, but never followed through with filling out the paperwork and approving it, so it wasn't an option for us. I think the deceased has to approve it before passing.

Helpful Answer (0)

Report

some may have issues with this, I know I would. But a friend of mine, although still middle aged, has arranged for he and his wife to be picked up by the medical school at a nearby university. Therefore not costs related to the body itself. Still may want a memorial service of some kind.

Helpful Answer (5)

Report

My only issue with this, is that if you want the body back so you can bury your loved one, it takes YEARS. I know people who backed out when they found out how long it takes. I personally would not want to have to go through the loss of a loved on and then have to go through a burial 2-3 years later.

(2)

Report

See 3 more replies

Go ahead and make some calls to get the cost of cremation. Some places are quite inexpensive and may let you start making small payments toward the cost. They may be able to refer you to financial assistance based on income. Also call your county courthouse and ask for a phone number for indigent burial information. Counties usually have funds to bury/cremate remains of those with no income. It will be beneficial to talk to them. If they can help, you would have contact information in advance.

When the time comes, the NH would assist you in making whatever calls are needed as far as pronouncing death (they have procedures in place for that) and you could give them name/number of crematory to make that call, too.

Helpful Answer (2)

Report

I'm kinda surprised at all the people who have had to scramble to figure this out after the fact, naming the funeral home we preferred was part of the nursing home's admissions paperwork. I'll admit don't know how it is handled in AL, in my experience people living there would be less physically compromised and death often takes place off site in a hospital.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

My FIL just entered a nursing home & didn’t have to name a funeral home on the paperwork.

(1)

Report

When my brother died in the ‘end of life’ hospice facility they requested that we provide the funeral home’s name so they could notify them to pick up his body immediately after his death.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

It may be different when the funeral home knows you don’t have money but take someone with you with a clear head and basically uninvolved to make arrangements and listen to what they tell as to keeping the cost down . My mother, me and my stepbrother went to make arrangements when my stepfather died. My stepbrother didn’t pay a single cent toward it yet kept adding things that upped the bill( he also added , without permission and against her wishes, double the people to the dinner afterwards and again , gave her the bill🙄🙄🙄) . My mother agreed to everything the director said would be “nice”. But every little thing costs $$$$$. Ie he was a Vet and that cost more to have some things due to that . Things we assumed were government paid but nope.

Helpful Answer (1)

Report

1 2

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

What are the steps taken when a parent dies in a nursing home?

38 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions