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I am trying to care for a man that has been in my family for a long time. He is 90 years old with no Medicaid and I am now disabled and can not care for him like I used to. He has no immediate family to help care for him and I have tried to apply for Medicaid for him only to be told he doesn’t qualify. I am at my wits' end because he is experiencing dementia and it's hard for me to deal with. He gets social security and a very small pension but I was told it is not enough for a decent nursing home or home attendant. Can someone please help me and tell me what to do?

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See am elder law attorney with all the facts of this gentleman's assets. There are ways to have his assets, his SS and pension to go to his care facility and Medicaid take over the remainder of costs, but you may need help in negotiating the application processes. Problem is that, if you are not his POA and he is not currently competent to negotiate all of this he does need help in doing so. Laws in regard to medicaid vary state to state due to this being both a state and federal program. One hour of time in Elder care attorney's office may get you good guidance on how to proceed and who to use for help. Make it clear that you need a simple hour of advice and ask for hourly fee.
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You and your family member appear to be stuck in the donut hole of our inadequate support for elders with dementia in the country. There is no easy way to get out of it, but what you need to do is to, figuratively speaking, scream for help. What that means is getting the attention of the powers that be in the state, the police, APS, ER hospital nurses if necessary. You let it be know he is an elder at risk and YOU are not able to safely take care of him by yourself anymore. You are going to have to be proactive and vigilant. Eventually, you will get that help, he will be placed in a LTC facility paid by LTC Medicaid. This situation, that many finds themselves in, is why you see the "ER dump" being used. I'm not necessarily saying that is your first option, you may want to go to social services or your local agency on Aging first, but if you don't get help, you need to escalate it. Stay strong.
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