My mom will eat breakfast and lunch ok, if it's something she likes. Then the remainder of the afternoon until bedtime she asks for snacks. It's as though she's never full. She doesn't want a dinner meal. She says I never eat dinner. I try to give her cheese, sandwiches, something with protein, trying to satisfy her. It doesn't seem to help. She will say I haven't had anything. I'm so hungry. She's steadily gaining weight from it. She sits all day, only goes to the bathroom and back to her lift chair.
But if she wanted it, I surely would give it to her. But as long as someone isn't diabetic, I think as with my mom, who has lived all the way up to 95 basically doing what she wants and eating what she wants and made it to 95!! Why not let them eat what they want?
Would you (or did you) allow your children (if you had them, not trying to get personal here) eat whatever they want, whenever they want? Part of taking care of a person is loving them enough to insist upon good, nutritious meals every day. That doesn't mean no fun food ever. I respectfully disagree that if your loved one is in your care, they need looking after in some sort of way. Just because your loved one is at an advanced age, does that give that person the "right" to drink or drug themselves to death? Or to be allowed to drive, even if they have slower reflexes and less perception of the drivers around them? I'm speaking from experience here, because I deal with it every day. My loved one loves junk food, and and hates drinking the required amounts of water each day. So, I am the rotten daughter who "makes" her eat decent meals and drink water. After that's done. I don't worry about the rest of the things she eats.
Let her have her pleasure, my great aunt used to eat the 500gm bar of chocolate every day, she would not have understood if deprived, and although this eating is not healthy or may cause weight gain, any detriment from that has to be considered against quality of life.
It is hard to accept that a loved one is not in the same life as we knew them in, we can end up with all the best intentions keeping the body healthy as the mind deteriorates - why? Why honestly do we do this? It doesn't benefit the one we love, it may make us feel better, or keep them with us a little longer, but giving them pleasure and quality of life, company, care, and love is far more important than adding an extra time to their lives - for them - .
For a while he wanted pumpkin pie with Coolwhip. Two or three times a day. on top of which, he would sprinkle cinnamon sugar.
He would be too full to eat a real breakfast, so his caregiver makes him a substantial lunch, with protein and fruit, because he won't eat vegetables.
When I spoke with his PCP, who has been our doctor for 40 years he said to let him eat whatever he wants. The doctor recommend keeping protein drinks (I have been buying Premier Protein, because they make a flavor he likes) around. I can usually get him to drink one a day, and the doctor is fine with that. As he said, what are you trying to save him from? He is never getting better. And I have accepted that.
Is it possible to give her snacks that are "less bad" for her? Like veggie chips instead of potato chips? Don't show her the containers so she doesn't fixate on it, just give it to her in a bowl. Also, non-dairy ice cream (like Halo) makes one that is very satisfying and tastes like ice cream but way fewer calories and sugar.
Also, resist serving it to her, make her come to the table to get it so that she moves around more. Hopefully this is a phase for her. Good luck!
She nibbles at lunch and dinner but hardly ever turns down something sweet.
I think they can taste sweets the most or simply desire them more than other food choices.
Mom has never had a weight problem. In fact, she’s extremely thin.
I was talking to mom’s hospice nurse a few days ago about her diet. She said that she feels it’s one of the few pleasures that they have left in life and she will serve them whatever they want.
It’s difficult to deny someone of something that they love to eat. I suppose it depends on age and health.
Are there ways of modification of serving her favorite treats?
Perhaps a homemade version of something made with less sugar and fat.
She can still have a treat but substitute a healthier version of it if you feel that is best.
I have also wondered if the hunger message or full message fades/fails?
I found this on Alz website:
'Often people with dementia don't taste food and experience flavor like they once did, which can change appetite preferences'.
I think if 2 of 3 meals are OK, I'd go with that. Add a protein supp drink (if needed) & then just a light dinner. Soup, tinned fruit, icecream & jelly is often popular.
As for good eating habits, I believe that the difference with children, is that some good habits are important for health in the "long run". But when the run gets to be rather on the very short side...... That beeing said, I would be worried about anything that could impact immediate or short term quality of life . Like, dehydration that increases confusion , sugar highs that keep awake or induce hypoglycemia episodes in some people with that condition where it could cause falls etc.
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