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My mom will eat breakfast and lunch ok, if it's something she likes. Then the remainder of the afternoon until bedtime she asks for snacks. It's as though she's never full. She doesn't want a dinner meal. She says I never eat dinner. I try to give her cheese, sandwiches, something with protein, trying to satisfy her. It doesn't seem to help. She will say I haven't had anything. I'm so hungry. She's steadily gaining weight from it. She sits all day, only goes to the bathroom and back to her lift chair.

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How old is your mom? I'm asking because if she's in her 90s I'd say let her eat what she wants, pick your battles. But if she's not too advanced in years, I wouldn't want my LO's health to become compromised, or a more likely issue: to gain "too much" weight which would make helping them maneuver through the day more difficult for both the LO and the caregiver. My aunt in her mid mid 90's with late stage dementia went through a phase where she seemed to never stop eating. She was tall and thin her whole life, and ate a healthy Mediterranean diet so we let her have whatever she wanted. She gained 13 lbs, but it wasn't an issue since she had been so thin prior. This phase stopped and now she only wants to eat one brand of only one kind of canned soup. So we let her.

Is it possible to give her snacks that are "less bad" for her? Like veggie chips instead of potato chips? Don't show her the containers so she doesn't fixate on it, just give it to her in a bowl. Also, non-dairy ice cream (like Halo) makes one that is very satisfying and tastes like ice cream but way fewer calories and sugar.

Also, resist serving it to her, make her come to the table to get it so that she moves around more. Hopefully this is a phase for her. Good luck!
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My dad didn’t have dementia, but certainly found that it took sweeter or sharper flavors to have appeal. The taste sense can decline and it takes junk foods to have flavors that satisfy. There’s also eating from boredom, it simply gives something to do. You’ll have to strike a balance in what food your bring in, having the junk food in smaller quantities, and making some peace with it. I like Geaton’s idea of having mom walk for it, more moving is good and it may diminish the number of times she’s going for it
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Let them - what harm can it cause to someone who has a life limiting illness anyway.
Let her have her pleasure, my great aunt used to eat the 500gm bar of chocolate every day, she would not have understood if deprived, and although this eating is not healthy or may cause weight gain, any detriment from that has to be considered against quality of life.
It is hard to accept that a loved one is not in the same life as we knew them in, we can end up with all the best intentions keeping the body healthy as the mind deteriorates - why? Why honestly do we do this? It doesn't benefit the one we love, it may make us feel better, or keep them with us a little longer, but giving them pleasure and quality of life, company, care, and love is far more important than adding an extra time to their lives - for them - .
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My 81 year old husband gets up in the night and makes toast. Sometimes, lots and lots of toast. With cinnamon sugar and butter. and cups of coffee, from which he usually on takes a sip of two. He will be up several times a night sometimes.

For a while he wanted pumpkin pie with Coolwhip. Two or three times a day. on top of which, he would sprinkle cinnamon sugar.

He would be too full to eat a real breakfast, so his caregiver makes him a substantial lunch, with protein and fruit, because he won't eat vegetables.

When I spoke with his PCP, who has been our doctor for 40 years he said to let him eat whatever he wants. The doctor recommend keeping protein drinks (I have been buying Premier Protein, because they make a flavor he likes) around. I can usually get him to drink one a day, and the doctor is fine with that. As he said, what are you trying to save him from? He is never getting better. And I have accepted that.
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My mom loves her ice cream. She will mostly eat a healthy breakfast but then ask for ice cream around 10:00.

She nibbles at lunch and dinner but hardly ever turns down something sweet.

I think they can taste sweets the most or simply desire them more than other food choices.

Mom has never had a weight problem. In fact, she’s extremely thin.

I was talking to mom’s hospice nurse a few days ago about her diet. She said that she feels it’s one of the few pleasures that they have left in life and she will serve them whatever they want.

It’s difficult to deny someone of something that they love to eat. I suppose it depends on age and health.

Are there ways of modification of serving her favorite treats?

Perhaps a homemade version of something made with less sugar and fat.

She can still have a treat but substitute a healthier version of it if you feel that is best.
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Have seen people eat, then claim to have not eaten for days. Also seen the opposite - refusing food as says just eaten, when they really haven't. Due to short term memory problems I suppose.

I have also wondered if the hunger message or full message fades/fails?

I found this on Alz website:
'Often people with dementia don't taste food and experience flavor like they once did, which can change appetite preferences'.

I think if 2 of 3 meals are OK, I'd go with that. Add a protein supp drink (if needed) & then just a light dinner. Soup, tinned fruit, icecream & jelly is often popular.
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Dementia can last over a decade. Eventually they don’t want to eat & you have to encourage it. This must be the early stages. My mom is advanced & only talks in mumbo jumbo now. At this point I give her almost anything I know she’ll eat to keep her weight up. She drinks a lot of ensure-I use the powder canisters & make a pitcher in the frig & eats mostly handheld foods now. Eventually due to the dementia, she will have trouble swallowing & lose interest in eating. Regarding your question, I say let her do whatever she wants. She has a permanent disease that is terminal. Just make her happy & comfortable. Her eating habits will change along the way & you can give her healthier foods later when she forgets about junk food. Sometimes fat & happy is good. Attach a bidet to the toilet for diarrhea & use pull ups when the time comes. A bidet makes everything much easier!!
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Grandmais98 Apr 2021
We have bidets in our bathrooms, how did you teach your loved one to use it? My grandma can’t remember where the bathroom is, much less what a bidet does. Could you give me some tips to help ?
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I say, who are we to say what someone in the years at the end of life should or shouldn't eat. My mom is 95 for one more week and right now she is good with eating whatever I set in front of her. She used to be a snacker during the afternoon, but as she is dependent on me now for food and I am not a snacker, she eats fairly well, but not snacks, only because she doesn't think to ask for crackers and such and I don't think to offer.

But if she wanted it, I surely would give it to her. But as long as someone isn't diabetic, I think as with my mom, who has lived all the way up to 95 basically doing what she wants and eating what she wants and made it to 95!! Why not let them eat what they want?
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Josie2365 Apr 2021
Dear Myownlife,

Would you (or did you) allow your children (if you had them, not trying to get personal here) eat whatever they want, whenever they want? Part of taking care of a person is loving them enough to insist upon good, nutritious meals every day. That doesn't mean no fun food ever. I respectfully disagree that if your loved one is in your care, they need looking after in some sort of way. Just because your loved one is at an advanced age, does that give that person the "right" to drink or drug themselves to death? Or to be allowed to drive, even if they have slower reflexes and less perception of the drivers around them? I'm speaking from experience here, because I deal with it every day. My loved one loves junk food, and and hates drinking the required amounts of water each day. So, I am the rotten daughter who "makes" her eat decent meals and drink water. After that's done. I don't worry about the rest of the things she eats.
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Not an answer but how about someone who has a lollipop (or 2 or 3) in their mouth at ALL times? And then claim to not be hungry (unless you offer ice cream). I'm talking about 500 lollipops in a month - not exaggerating as we go through a Sam's Club bag which has 500 in them. And let's not forget finding the empty sticks Everywhere! SMH
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I understand your dilemma. Mine is the same. I make sure she has 3 Chocolate, her favorite flavor in all the world, Protein drinks in the frig. If she finds chocolate candy she will eat it all. So we have to moderate her access to that. If she were to gain much weight, it will complicate what she can now do for herself as well as make it harder for me to care for her. It’s kind of a pick your battles situation. Some days I hide the pop, she’ll also drink that after having thrown away her food, she thought she ate. Other days, I make her a root beer float. She loves those, too. Anything sugary. So, I say do the best you can, to keep things easy and healthy for both of you. And that may change from one day to the next. It’s complicated, isn’t it??!! I suppose I could let her eat everything she wanted, and send her to an assisted living place when she’s too heavy for me to take care of. It’s hard to find that balance. Good luck. I’m right there with you.
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You could not buy it. Or you could put snacks up on a top shelf out of site. Another tip is try using Carnation instant breakfast, add some fruit (fresh or frozen), and ice cream (if desired) put in blender and make a shake/smoothie, This may satisfy her need for junk because it is something different and nutritious at the same time. You could also try having the pre-made drinks on hand. The yogurt drinks I think taste the best.
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I think NeedHelpWithMom is right as we get older out taste buds wear out or something and the need for junk food is really a desire for food they can taste. It’s a problem for us too especially since Mom is diabetic and has a heart condition but what she really wants is sweets and salt! While we haven’t really experienced it yet I do think it isn’t untypical with dementia patients to forget that they have eaten or snacked on their sweet for the day. That said while in theory I agree with let them have what makes them happy, your point about her gaining weight and getting too heavy to do the things she does now for herself as well as making it too difficult, in safe even, for you to help or do for her is a very good one. We keep a limited amount of her treats as well as a variety of healthier things she likes around and for the most part if you put a good meal in front of my mom, even when she’s claiming she isn’t hungry, she will devour it, now again while she may not remember when it was, she doesn’t forget that she has eaten. But again the suggestion to make healthier snacks and sweets that still have big flavor is a great suggestion as long as your up for it. These days they make brownies with black beans or avocado and muffins without flour, some of it isn’t passable but so much more recipes these days really are. You could give that a try?

The other thing I wanted to suggest is something else to fill her time, something that interests her and keeps her hands and mind busy, sometimes we eat out of boredom or at least forget to snack when we are engrossed in something active. Good luck!
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The brain only uses sugar. Taking care of someone with Alz years ago, he had big craving for sugar snacks in the evening. I bought him little packages of these things and left them for him where he could find them. He only ate them in the evening. Sugar snacks raise serotonin levels which help to fall asleep later. So I read doing research online. When he had been in the hospital before this, they didn't let him have that stuff of course. He became very difficult and combative at night and wanted to get out of the hospital and needed to be restrained. I wonder if it was his need for sugar?
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Let her eat junk food..& occasionally include an Ensure or Boost in her favorite flavor!Be thankful she can still walk to bathroom & help herself instead of being in diapers & have to change & clean her in bed...Hugs 🤗
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Daughterof1930 Apr 2021
Couldn’t an abundance of junk food combined with no exercise ultimately lead to such weight gain that getting to a bathroom or even out of bed becomes too much? I’m not against letting our elders eat junk food, but moderation in all things could prolong the time before a more involved level of care is required
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I have not tried any of these, but plan to save the link and check them out myself! They do sound interesting and might be some good substitutes for "processed" snacks or junk food and perhaps be a little healthier as well. They show images for 16 Healthyish Snacks For Anyone With A Sweet Tooth, with a little blurb about each. Each one has a link to the recipe. Can't hurt to give them a try! Many are no bake, so they should be easy to make.

https://tasty.co/article/jesseszewczyk/healthy-sweet-snack-recipes
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Check her thyroid function. I have hyperthyroidism and one of the symptoms is constant hunger. In my case for potato chips and the like.
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She may be bored or anxious. Try keeping her on a consistent routine and adding some activity in the afternoon or evening to divert her attention from eating. If she says she is hungry - and just ate - try giving her more watery drinks and fruit or veggies with fiber to "fill her up." I have found that oatmeal with peanut butter in it is a good combination of protein and fiber. A little fruit works as a sweet treat instead of junk food.

Also talk to her doctor. He may prescribe medication or give a referral to a geriatric psychiatrist to help deal with the behavior.
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TouchMatters Apr 2021
Oh my. So much of this is what I just said. [And, I didn't read your first before I responded, promise.]

Peanut butter and apples are incredible although need to watch the amount of nut-butters. Almond butter may be better - I believe it is healthier.

My mom used to give my sister and I 'mashed banana on toast'. It is an open face sandwich - add a sprinkle of cinnamon. I still eat those once in a while, many decades later.
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Fill her up with fiber.
Oatmeal, grain breads, apples, oranges, lentils.
Add just a little cheese or grated cheese. Most cheese is very high in fat and can be constipating. Due to dementia and the changes in her brain, she may always 'think' she feels hungry. She is likely bored. Do you engage her in activites? Something she can look forward to besides eating?
She may never say she is satisfied as she may not know due to dementia.
She will continue to gain weight if you do not intervene.
Use special foods as treats for walking, moving, doing something - eating a salad. She likely will not (be able to) change until you do and assist her with firm kindness by setting boundaries.
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My mother who never had a sweet tooth ( dessert was plain yogourt with fruit, there was soda in the house at birthdays or for partys an an occasional very small ice cream for a special treat ) turned into Winnie the Pooh in her nineties ! I sometimes fill small water bottles with a mixture of water, a little bit of cranberry juice,( bladder's best friend ;-)) pure juice , not the cocktail , and a little bit of sugar. Since water can be filling, she sips and never goes through too many in a row. There isn't that much sugar and it makes her get water as an added benefit.

As for good eating habits, I believe that the difference with children, is that some good habits are important for health in the "long run". But when the run gets to be rather on the very short side...... That beeing said, I would be worried about anything that could impact immediate or short term quality of life . Like, dehydration that increases confusion , sugar highs that keep awake or induce hypoglycemia episodes in some people with that condition where it could cause falls etc.
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go online and search magic cups.. My MIL suffers from Dementia and while in a rehab for UTI it was a desert they served. It comes packed frozen and we call it Ice cream... It is sweet and chocolate and full of vitamins and protein.. She thinks she is getting ice cream and she is actually getting a serving of Protein and vitamins. She
only drinks tea with sugar so we add the fiber to the tea and that helps with constipation.
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My Mom has been in home hospice in our home for many months. Her eating habits have changed drastically, and she has lost quite a bit of weight. She is no longer interested in 'healthy' food or meals, which upset me quite a bit as a caregiver. I have since given up that battle, slowly coming to understand that her dementia, along with taste bud changes, and her body's needs as she ages (she is 94!) have all contributed to the change in her eating. In order to get calories into her on a daily basis, I will cook her small omelettes, with toast and juice and hot tea, and the rest of her day she wants basically sweets with tea, and maybe soup for dinner. I make her milk shakes with Ensure added and on most nights, a bowl of ice cream or her favorite cake with tea. She will also drink V-8 til the cows come home, so that is also a go-to drink. The hospice team has told me 'let her eat whatever she wants' and so I do. I bake her favorite cookies and her eyes light up when she sees me bringing her a plateful of them with her tea. I have learned that there is a point when nutrition and what we think nutrition is, is entirely different in a 94-year-old body and it's needs at that point in life. I do my best to get nutrition into her, but I also give her things that make her happy and that she gobbles up with no hesitation. I treasure every day with my Mom and I have learned to choose my battles accordingly. Her happiness while she is here is really Job 1.
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Cover99 Aug 2021
The damage has been done with the Dementia, not to much incentive to eat healthy now.
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She can’t eat junk food if you don’t buy it. I have small children, and they sure are picky. The thing is though, they don’t starve. When they’re really hungry, they’ll eat whatever’s there. Your mom will be the same.

If she won’t eat veggies, try making them a purée and adding them to cakes. Add semi-sweet chocolate chips, or fat-free yogurt. Explore with recipes online.
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you can make some annabolic "ice cream" using ice, protein powder, milk, sugar substitute and xantham gum... a HUGE tub of it is about 250 calories.
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