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My Mother has a script for an ultrasound on her kidneys but doesn't want it. She has been taking off her meds that control her diabetes because it effects the kidneys. So now her blood sugar won't be regulated. I am very concerned about her health. How do I convince her to get the proper care she needs?

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Is you mom of sound mind? Does she understand that not treating her diabetes and kidney disease will dramatically shorten her life? If yes, then perhaps you need to have the discussion about hospice and her plans for the end of her life. (Actually I think you should have this discussion anyway so you know if she has thought this through or is just acting out of fear and needs a plan and some reassurance).
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cwillie took the words right out of my mouth.

If your mom is of sound mind she has the right to make her own decisions regarding her healthcare and if she is adamant about this I agree about hospice. I know it's so difficult but we have to respect our parent's decisions when they're made with a clear mind even if we don't agree. And if your mom continues to not seek medical help try to be supportive of her.
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How old is your mom? What is the day-to-day quality of her life? Is she generally content?
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A childhood friend's dad had type 1 diabetes and was on dialysis for a long time, he had beaten cancer once and was diagnosed with cancer again. It has metastasized and was in his bones.

He was facing a excruciating death.

He talked to his doctor's and family and told them he was going to stop dialysis. He did not want to go through death by bone cancer. It was expected he would live awhile without the dialysis, but he died quite quickly at home. He had time to make his funeral arrangements. It was a good death. His young grandchildren who lived in the home were allowed to give him a hug (Grandpa is sleeping) as his pain had been too great and bones too brittle for them to touch him.

Perhaps your mum is ready to die?

I had a neighbour who was diabetic and chose not to manage his diet. He knew it would shorten is life. He used to tell me he had no interest in a long life if he was incapacitated. He eventually got his wish and had a heart attack. He had spent many years looking after his elderly father and step-mother. When his step mum got alz, he took his dad each day to visit her in the nursing home. He did not want that for himself.
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My grandmother decided against treatment for lung cancer. Her prognosis wasn’t good and she’d already been through it with my grandfather. She was of sound mind and didn’t want that for herself. Hospice helped relieve her suffering while she passed. Is your loved one of sound mind, and do they understand the consequences of their actions?
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I would be happy to be corrected, but as far as I know an ultrasound would not be part of the treatment for "kidney failure" in the run-of-the-mill sense of chronic kidney disease. There seems to be quite a lot going on here..?

Who asked for the ultrasound, and what is being investigated?
What is your mother's objection to this completely painless and risk-free test?
How is your mother's kidney function, and has it changed significantly since it was last measured?
What diabetes medication has been stopped?
How severe is your mother's diabetes?
Have you noticed any other changes in your mother's general health, mood or outlook on life?
Has she always preferred to keep you closely informed about her health before now?


Ah. I wonder if the OP will come back to us this time and fill us in? And meanwhile, how you are getting on with the Steve-and-Mary abusive caregivers situation?
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Good points CM, I'm afraid we've all been jumping to the conclusion that the OP's mom has advanced kidney disease, although the question doesn't actually say that is so.
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