My husband has Alzheimer's and I know the time will come when I will need help caring for him. Someone mentioned an NHELA Attorney to make sure we are set up properly for some kind of financial assistance, when it becomes necessary. Can someone give me some direction in this? We have a trust, not much money and a reverse mortgage on our home. We have Medicare with a BC supplement. Not sure how that will help with in home care, assisted living or any of the other issues we r sure to financially encounter. Thanks everyone for being there. I appreciate the ability to vent, educate and not feel alone.
Elder Law has been around for a couple of decades but has not been made popular until the past few years. These attorneys know the ins and outs of State Trusts, Medical Directives, the different Power of Attorneys that are needed, and how to navigate the maze of Medicaid if you should need it in the future.
I see you have a Reverse Mortgage on your home. If you need to dig into your equity in your home, it might be time to start thinking about downsizing to something more affordable. Don't forget, those Reverse Mortgages need to be paid back when you move out of the home or sale the house.
I mention Medicaid because the costs of care are just staggering. Easily 100K a year for NH. It's my firm belief that unless you are generationally wealthy, if you live long enough you are going to run out of funds and the caregiver - whether wife or kids - will run out of steam and NH Medicaid or at-home Medicaid will be needed to pay for caregiving. Looking into this now & planning now and before there is a incident so you are decision making in a panic is best.
A Reverse Mortgage is super sticky to deal with. Is this a lump sum RM or a line of credit RM? Federal govt backed one or private? Has the home appreciated significantly since you took out the RM, so that it could sell for perhaps 1/3 more than its tax assessor value? Were both of your names on the RM and you both were fully qualified at the time for the RM age requirement? I would get out the RM agreement and very carefully look to see what the terms care for calling in the loan & the payback requirements are IF hubs needs to go into a NH and under what terms you are allowed to remain in the home. Write your questions down as you review and take these along with all other legal and the past couple of years finances to the atty meeting.
If hubs gets confused going out, I'd do the first meeting on my own with the atty. and then the next one hubs comes with you at whatever time of the day he is most alert and cognitive. Good luck, none of this is easy or simple.