She already has a living will. She is in kidney failure stage 4 and has heart failure. Also what is a POA's responsibility? I don't want to push my mom as I already told her the dialysis if the dr decides that is her decision. She asked me what I would do. I told her, mom, it's your decision. As much as I would love to keep her alive as long as I could, I also know what my grandma went through on dialysis.
There are simple POAs and more complicated POAs. You want durable POAs, both medical and financial. And you definitely want her to arrange for advanced directives. If you are the POA agent you stand in the shoes of your mother, the principle. In very simple terms, you act for her when she can't act. Make sure all her providers and care facilities have copies. Locate her will or have one drafted. Meet with an elder-care attorney as soon as you can. A consultation should not cost too much.
Being POA typically means you will be making medical and financial decisions for your loved one. Personally, I think you need to also have medical directives as POA documents don't always identify your wishes. I think without medical directives people try to keep their loved ones alive at all costs. Even if the outcome results in a low quality of life and this isn't what many people want.
I am a Financial Planner and the vast majority of clients do not have up to date Wills, do not realize that POAs are or have out of date documents. The ones that do are in the military. Members are strongly encouraged to have all their end of life documents up to date.
I updated my will and POAs when I was 50, after my divorce. I will be updating them again before I am 60.
If she gave you medical power of attorney, it would be your decision if she were no longer able to make it. That would be your responsibility. If you feel you wouldn't want it, is there anyone else who would be prepared to take it?
Your mother's medical team can ask her if there is anyone she wants to nominate to make decisions on her behalf. If she says yes, they can help her fill in the right forms. If she says no, they will act in her, their patient's, best interests taking any living will or directive into account.
Though I am healthy and not yet a senior, I had my lawyer draw up both my financial power of attorney and my medical power of attorney. Who knows, tomorrow I could be hit by a car and end up in a coma.