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My dad died in march 2022 and since then my mum stopped calling me stopped inviting me out even took all her grandchildren and my brother and sister on holiday, I don't contact her anymore as she said on my birthday that she feels like piggy in the middle as my sister is doesn't like of me,I am a giver in life my glass is half full I will always say sorry just to keep the peace and I would never hurt anyone or leave anyone out. I can't seem to get my head round what is happening as we HV been a very close family for 50 years I am at a loss at how hurtful they are being to me. Ps I am not perfect.any thoughts would be appreciated x

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Sorry for your situation.

Maybe your mom is depressed? Maybe she is being manipulated by your sister? How old is mom? Does she have dementia?

Do you have a relationship with your sister and brother? If you want a relationship with them, I think you are going to have a lot of work to do.
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Sounds like your mother is do what your sister wants, she is in and you are out.

There are times in life when one needs to just back away, this may be the time for you to do just that.

My mother favors my brother, always has, Two sets of rules, one for him another for me. I was the scapegoat, no longer, I had enough, haven't spoken to her for 12 years.

I am happy and have no need to get back together with her, I function quite well without her, have great friends who I enjoy being with and other family members who include me in everything, not her. For example, her brother, my uncle has not spoken to her for 40 years we are close as are all my cousins.

Why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?

Respect is a two way street, in your case it is one way and will lead to a dead end street.
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Contact your siblings and ask if you’ve done anything that has upset or offended them. Their replies may give you insight as to what’s made them so against you. Doesn’t mean they are right or justified in their position, but gaining some understanding of why this has happened is a good first step. Send your mom cards and positive notes regularly, never mentioning not seeing her or the issues. If none of this yields anything that helps, you may want to pick a time to back away, sad as that can be, and build a new family from friends that bring encouragement and good things to your life. I’m sorry for your pain in this
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I guess u need to talk to brother because Mom seems to go sister's way. Be ready for some honesty. But at least you will know what is going on.

Its a shame that families get like this. My Dad was one of 8 and two of his siblings were not easy to be around but they were not left out of family functions. I have a SIL thats gets mad at a sibling and doesn't speak to him for years because of something he did she was not happy with.
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You really cannot change the fact that you have a mother with such limitations that she cannot find a way to love all her children without feeling torn in the middle. Your mother has made a choice for her own life, to save her own feelings. There is simply ZERO that you can do about that.

Your decision must be now to move on. Let your Mom know you would love to have lunch, see a movie, shop, whatever, any time she would like. Make certain she has your contact information. Send her little short notes and cards wishing her well, and then basically...........................
Get on with your life.

We have two chances at family. The one we are born into and the one we make for ourselves. Find activities and friends you share with and cherish. That's your new "family". Stay open and accepting to Mom and Sis if they wish to contact you, and otherwise let them have their lives.

I wish you the very best of luck going forward. Share your loving heart with those who will appreciate it.
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