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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I'm still working on it. Has been almost four months.now. I feel anxious with every new thing I. have to do. Especially having to probably foreclose on a commercial building. Would like to talk to others going through the same thing.
I know this seems like it is taking forever--but 4 months is not that long. Most estates I am aware of take at least a year to be fully settled. Hubby was his dad's executor, and the first 6 months were without doubt the hardest, just SO much paperwork and running around. I helped him ready the properties to be sold, and did as much as I could. Sadly, his sibs were useless, just hanging around waiting for the next check to be disbursed. That's also normal, from what I hear. If you have an attorney working for you, use them!! That's why they're getting paid. I doubt you want to try to sell a commercial property yourself...and cut yourself some slack...after losing a parent, then having to deal with all the left-behinds...try to get some breaks now and then. A lot of this stuff simply takes time--don't try to push too hard through it. Good Luck!
Barbara, have you taken ANY of the advice that has been helpfully provided for the last several posts?
Many people took the time to read your posts and have offered advice including getting professional help. You're the only one who can help yourself but if you don't get the help you need, the questions are going to keep coming and the answers will be the same. You need professional help.
Hadnuff, from another posting of yours it sounds like you have an excellent attorney you are working with. Perhaps you should be in regular contact or even request that the attorney handle closing out the estate.
I am working on my mother's estate. Your's sounds more complicated. But things always drag on no matter how simple it is. Foreclosing a building sounds like it would hurt the tenents. I hope the lawyer has some creative ideas to sell it instead. The important thing is to pretend like it is not happening until the ball is back in your court. Otherwise it is one big stress ball.
It is a year and a half since my husband died. I am still going thru insurance stuff; bank changes etc etc. It does take a long time. You might need some help from a commercial real estate lawyer to sell property. Not to worry. It all works out...in time,lots of time!!
I have talked to my psychiatrist. She said to try mindfullness. And maybe a change in meds but she has to think about that. I do let the lawyer do what she can.But some things and decisions cant be made by lawyer. I have had lawyer asking me for information several times. I have to go to bank, go through moms papers, make phone calls, send forms and faxes. That the lawyer can't do for me. I have decided to only do one or two things for esate a day starting now.
Nasimir, , That would all be great but doesn't fit the situation at all. Once someone is involved in clearing up an estate, it is years, maybe decades too late for that. In fact the credit cards were not even part of my folks estate. They were old school: you pay your bills, cash or check. Then they had dementia, downsizing is for sane people. Old folks who are long since out of touch with reality, don't downsize. Everyone dealing with this wishes they could go back in time and get their folks to do those things, but not likely to happen.
I guess in some ways I'm lucky. When my parents first got sick six years ago they realized staying in our family home wasn't going to work - so off to independent living, my brothers, their families, my hubby and I got what was left in the house - and it was A LOT, fifty years worth - cleaned out, I hired people to get the house spruced up for sale and in less than a month it was gone. Since IL mom went to AL and now NH. With each move more and more stuff was discarded. In my five years as DPOA I have condensed and simplified my mothers accounts and investments and I now only have four monthly bills to deal with. No doubt there will still be a lot to do - to take care of when the time comes but compared to what it might have been - it seems doable.
DoingbestIcan: You had a good point and that is downsize while you still have your sanity. I routinely purge out things that I no longer need WHILE I STILL CAN, e.g. while I still have my sanity.
One day at a time. One thing at a time. That is a good idea. My mom's estate took a while, too. Just let your attorney guide you and don't stress out over there being too much to do. The longest journey is accomplished one step at a time, and you can do that. And when you get tired, take a break and do something you love.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sadly, his sibs were useless, just hanging around waiting for the next check to be disbursed. That's also normal, from what I hear.
If you have an attorney working for you, use them!! That's why they're getting paid. I doubt you want to try to sell a commercial property yourself...and cut yourself some slack...after losing a parent, then having to deal with all the left-behinds...try to get some breaks now and then. A lot of this stuff simply takes time--don't try to push too hard through it. Good Luck!
Many people took the time to read your posts and have offered advice including getting professional help. You're the only one who can help yourself but if you don't get the help you need, the questions are going to keep coming and the answers will be the same. You need professional help.
It does take a long time. You might need some help from a commercial real estate lawyer to sell property. Not to worry. It all works out...in time,lots of time!!
I do let the lawyer do what she can.But some things and decisions cant be made by lawyer. I have had lawyer asking me for information several times. I have to go to bank, go through moms papers, make phone calls, send forms and faxes. That the lawyer can't do for me. I have decided to only do one or two things for esate a day starting now.
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