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JoAnn29, that is simply not true. As long as someone can make a reasoned decision about the one specific issue at hand, they can think they are living on Mars and the tooth fairy brings them a snack everyday. It is still legal. Diminished capacity does not mean no capacity. After all, everyone has a various level of capacity.
Here's a link where you can read about it. People that have what many would consider greatly diminished capacity can still legally sign wills.
Allison36, my mother had a peg tube because she was not eating due to a bowel obstruction. I insisted on the peg tube. Shortly after her bowel obstruction reoccurred and she had a colostomy. She was able to resume eating by mouth but was now bedridden (thanks to hospital giving up on rehabbing her. They saw she was 90 and had a mindset about it.) As time went on (well over a year and a half) her ability to swallow pills was difficult but I could crush and use peg tube. At some point her ability to swallow was diminished but I could purée organic food and feed her through peg tube. Also could keep her from becoming dehydrated. My mother lived 2 years longer because of my care. She wanted to live. During that time she and her 2-3 year old twin great grandsons got to blow kisses to each other and love each other. Mom passed one week ago last night as I held her hand. She fought to stay till the end when she and God knew better to go home to Him. Peg tube was right for her. That choice may or may not be best choice for everyone. God be with you as you make choices that work for your Mom.
Allison36, what does your mother want? What would she have wanted when she was in her right mind? Did she prepare any kind of living will that can guide you with this?
How old is your mother? If she gets a tube, is there any chance she will recover her strength and be able to eat on her own?
My husband was advised to have a feeding tube twice during his 10 years of dementia. He refused both times. We had talked about it earlier, and I knew that was his strong opinion. No feeding tube. At this point in my life I would only want a feeding tube if it were going to be temporary while I recovered from something else. Definitely not something I'd need the rest of my life. Like my husband, I'll take my chances on swallowing food.
BUT this is a very personal decision. I know what I want, but I sure don't know what your mother wants. Is she still able to tell you?
I am a solid care taker for my ederly mom ( suffering dementia and recent minor stroke )and I am in deep depression and anxiety. My mom had a recent stroke almost a month. She eats puréed diet and her swallowing is good so far, however Hospital pressure my mom to have a peg tube and I am not quite comfortable put my mom go through that traumatize procedure? What is her option any advise I would appreciate it. This website help me tremendously, I don't know what would I do without it.. Thank you so much. Allison
I am a sloild care taker for my elderly mom almost 5 years all by myself .. ( she is suffering from dementia and recent minor stroke )and I am going through in a deep depression and anxiety crying a lot .. My mom had a recent stroke almost a month .. Moreover, she eats puréed diet and her swallowing is good so far she recently admitted in a hospital( painful experience ever ) however Hospital pressure my mom to have a peg tube and I am not quite comfortable with put my mom go through that traumatize procedure? I am wondering, What is her options any advise I would greatly appreciate it.. This website has helped me tremendously during my journey.. I don't know what would I do without it.. Thank you so much for your support! God bless you all
Is there reason to think that someone will object to those changes? If so and your mother's competency is in question, then a doctor's note and help of an attorney are a good idea.
I notice that the OP doesn't actually mention a lawyer.
Fromz, could you say a little more about this situation?
Are *you* confident that your mother is competent in this sense?
Are you planning to get this change made through a lawyer?
If your mother has mental capacity, then I completely agree that she can do as she pleases with her estate and let nobody stand in her way. If she has not been formally assessed as being incompetent/lacking capacity then you don't need a doctor's certificate to say that she's fine (I agree it can't hurt); all the same you'd better get a lawyer to make sure her new will stands up to future scrutiny.
But there are "buts" to this. Not stopping her doing what she's every right to isn't quite the same as assisting her to do something you have legitimate concerns about. Are you sure you're happy to get involved?
Does she have a Doctors note or diagnosis stating that she is not competent? If she does not have such a diagnosis then I would doubt that she would need a note stating she is competent. If after talking to her the lawyer thinks she is not competent he will refuse to make changes that she wants. Then you will probably either have to find another lawyer or go without the changes.
Does Mom have Dementia or Alzheimers? If in early stage and understands a doctor note will probably be a good thing saying she knows what she is doing. Otherwise once the Dementia/ALZ sets in they cannot make informed decisions. No lawyer worth his money should make any changes.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Here's a link where you can read about it. People that have what many would consider greatly diminished capacity can still legally sign wills.
elder-law.com/can-a-person-with-dementia-sign-legal-documents/
How old is your mother? If she gets a tube, is there any chance she will recover her strength and be able to eat on her own?
My husband was advised to have a feeding tube twice during his 10 years of dementia. He refused both times. We had talked about it earlier, and I knew that was his strong opinion. No feeding tube. At this point in my life I would only want a feeding tube if it were going to be temporary while I recovered from something else. Definitely not something I'd need the rest of my life. Like my husband, I'll take my chances on swallowing food.
BUT this is a very personal decision. I know what I want, but I sure don't know what your mother wants. Is she still able to tell you?
What is her option any advise I would appreciate it. This website help me tremendously, I don't know what would I do without it..
Thank you so much.
Allison
I am wondering, What is her options any advise I would greatly appreciate it.. This website has helped me tremendously during my journey.. I don't know what would I do without it..
Thank you so much for your support! God bless you all
Allison
Thankfully, we never needed the Living Will - on Hospice they asked him what he wanted and he went peacefully.
Fromz, could you say a little more about this situation?
Are *you* confident that your mother is competent in this sense?
Are you planning to get this change made through a lawyer?
If your mother has mental capacity, then I completely agree that she can do as she pleases with her estate and let nobody stand in her way. If she has not been formally assessed as being incompetent/lacking capacity then you don't need a doctor's certificate to say that she's fine (I agree it can't hurt); all the same you'd better get a lawyer to make sure her new will stands up to future scrutiny.
But there are "buts" to this. Not stopping her doing what she's every right to isn't quite the same as assisting her to do something you have legitimate concerns about. Are you sure you're happy to get involved?
If she does not have such a diagnosis then I would doubt that she would need a note stating she is competent.
If after talking to her the lawyer thinks she is not competent he will refuse to make changes that she wants. Then you will probably either have to find another lawyer or go without the changes.