How can I convince my elderly father not to send money to scammers?

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How can I convince my elderly father not to send money to scammers?

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They have gotten road blocks from the telephone company. My dad has sent thousands to these over-seas fakes and now he is talking about refinancing his home, which is all paid for. My mother has Alzheimer's and we are afraid he will lose all their money she needs for her care.

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What legal authorizations do you have over your Mom and Dad - POA'a, Guardianship/Conservatorship? Besides getting an immediate medical/neorological diagnosis for your Dad (maybe pretend you are taking him for his annual check or a routine test), I would also consult an Elder Law attorney - please waste no time about this.
Are you named on the bank accounts? If so, you might be able to freeze them, or change the registration making only you as the signator, but I am not sure about the legality of doing that, so again, your best bet on this issue is to consult an Elder Law attorney ASAP. In the meantime, I would find out what mortgage broker he is dealing with, and have a chat with him. He will most likely stall your Dad, until you get your attorney's advice. Perhaps also speak to his personal atty and financial advisors. There believe there are ethical considerations in dealing with a incompetent client. My best wishes to you.

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I went through this years ago with my mother. I told her, next time they call, tell them you'll have to talk to your son first. My mother had a hard time telling them no, and this gave her a way out. It also allowed her to feel in control. As soon as she told them, she would have to talk to her son...most hung up and stopped calling.

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all i can say is 'once an adult. twice a child'

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My husband and I have had alot of experience in this area! My in-laws sent away about $35,000 before we caught on. These scammers are from outside the US, mainly Jamaica. We contacted everyone, the state police, FTC, Attorney General of our state, US postal inspector and local post office. Got no help from any of them because these scammers are "outside the United States" is what we were always told. We even went so far as to alert Walmarts in the area about them and asked that a red flag come up in the computer when they attempted to wire money. They did call us and tell us that they were there trying to wire the money from time to time. The only good suggestion we got was to change my in-laws phone number, which we did do. But the scammers somehow got the new number even though it was unlisted. We changed the number again and I know this sounds cruel but we didnt tell my in laws what the new number was. Mother-in-law with Alzehimers and Father-in-Law with early dementia. My husband, who is their POA and only child, had to step in and close their checking account and open a new one because Mom gave out the account numbers. They were irrate with us for awhile. They were wiring the money through Western Union or Moneygram anywhere from $300 to $2800 a time! We came to find out that the scammers had people who worked for Moneygram who were in on the scams! Unbelievable, huh? We just received a letter about the Moneygram investigation and the in-laws may get some of their money back. They are both in a nursing home now. You need to definitely have a POA (both financial and medical). I urge you to get one ASAP or if you father isn't competent then you may need to get him proved incompetent to handle his own affairs via the court system and his doctor would have to give a deposition on his incompetence. The scammers prey on the elderly pretending to be their "friends". One time they called when we were at their home, my husband pretended to be my father in law. They told my husband exactly how much to wire and not to tell anyone about their winning millions of dollars. I can't believe that there isn't something that our government could do about these people from Jamaica. Also Nigeria is another hotbed of this kind of activity. I know exactly what you are going through! Good Luck with this.

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I also used the "I'll have to talk to my daughter" excuse, and she told them , "my daughter keeps my checkbook and keeps track of how much I can give to charity"
Now she is in a retirement home and altho she gets some junk mail, she isn't getting calls any more. She is finally letting me open the questionable stuff.
It's a hard place to be in. I had POA on both parents and it sure helped when I had to handle their finances when he died and she didn't have enough income to pay house payments. She had a mental breakdown for a few months and when I got her back to herself, except for the dementia, she was grateful that things didn't get in a big mess when she couldn't make decisions. Good luck and God bless.

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I dealt with the same thing with my grandmother! 25,000 dollars later and me moving my family in with her I got it to stop! I had to be put on the POA and her on her account at the bank. They would notify me if she was trying to withdraw money. The bank was amazing with helping me! I did reach out to FTC, Attorney General, police, internet crime website, money dot card, all types of agencies with NOTHING! I even contacted Jamaica government. We went through 20 phone numbers and then figured out she could call them! Canceled long distance and I monitored the phone. She has a 6 thousand dollar loan to pay off from the home equity from her getting loans from other banks after she used all her savings. Its disgusting that these leeches do this to our elderly. I for through her mail as well. Because she got a postcard stating she won a Walmart girftcard well she called while I was out and when I came back she yelled for me and asked which credit card she should give them. So I yelled at the man and told her not to give that out ever! So now I monitor the mail as well. Its a cruel world we live in!

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Agree to contact lawyer - or if you have to - Adult Protective Services for your area. I would think this would fall under elder abuse.

I wouldn't hesitate to call the police (bunco squad) or a TV station with an investigative reporter (consumer advocate) to alert them there are scam artists working your area.

Main thing - you need to protect your parents - if your father is falling for this scam he probably should not be handling their finances on his own.
As you said - before he loses all the money your parents have for their care -

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My husband did the same thing, he has dementia. I closed his P.O. Box and all mail to comes to our home which I go through and trash those letters, plus he gave out his cell phone #, I had it changed. Envelopes are getting fewer & fewer and no money is going out to them. Good luck - I contacted the better business bureau, FTC, Fraud Org.

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In my experience you can't convince them if it is dementia. The sooner you take action the less work it is going to be on you to get things back in order. I had to get a PO Box and put in a change of address for mom with USPS to the PO Box. Also talked to the mailperson to not deliver any mail at all to moms place. You must change his phone number and get the new number on the National do not call list. You could put a call forwarding on the old line to your phone for a time just to sift through callers if you think its important enough but I did not. Then I notified all good vendors and friends of an address and phone number change to my own house. (I only gave moms new phone number to family and her friends but no one else). As mail came into the PO Box I sorted the good from the bad and contacted the good senders to start sending to my home address and phone. The junk mail I tried to return to sender w/no forwarding to stop the junk. I even wrote and called when I could but a lot of these people are sleeze. It took me a couple years to work out all the problems then I closed the PO Box with no forwarding address. My Alzheimers mother was ordering anything from anybody and even giving them her SS number and credit card over the phone. I got on moms accounts as secondary and started paying her bills online. In fact I setup ALL her accounts online so I could pay bills and even transfer between accounts as needed. Even insurance companies, annuities etc. In getting online accounts setup for all vendors you won't even have to add your name to things unless needed. I got the bank to issue a limited ATM card ($500max) with no point of purchase just cash at ATMs. I had to pay off Publishers Clearing House and Readers Digest for junk she purchased. She thought if she bought the junk she would have a better chance at winning the drawing. After taking over paying her bills I discovered she had spent over $3000 with Pub Clearing and Readers Digest on trinkets (junk). I always wondered what all the rotting flower bulbs were doing around her condo (another story). Sprint was nice enough to credit us back for the 5 cell phones that came to the door via UPS one day that including service contracts. It was funny mom called me and said hey, I just got 5 phones in the mail what should I do. Not remembering that some sleeze bucket salesman talked her into them. Caution also should be taken in that scammers/telemarketers can also have your phone company add certain things to your phone bill as well. Moms phone bill not only had unknown monthly charges for non-sense but also a fortune in calls to some sleeze bucks cell phone in Jamaica of all places. Good Luck but better start as soon as you can to take control of things before it get s out of hand. God Bless you.

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Just to highlight something Palmerky mentioned about the bank's being amazing - I wonder how your father is transferring his money to these lowlife conmen? Credit card or bank, aren't there any applicable consumer laws that would protect him against fraud? I'd try contacting the credit card companies or banks direct and getting their advice.

How can I convince my elderly father not to send money to scammers?

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