I work for an elderly couple, one has dementia. Their son lives in another state and will be bringing his wife and kids to stay and "play" and vacation. They have done this before and took advantage of me asking me to do THEIR laundry and dishes etc. I am here to care for the parents....NOT a maid. I also find I have resentment for them taking advantage of personal care attendants, so they can go off and play all day. Why can't they just stay and do fun things/ take care of their folks at home? They're only here for a week. It baffles me. How can I gently approach the issue with them/ my employer?
If so, you, or better, the agency, can send
a list of your duties to the family, or you can
keep a list on hand at the home.
When family expects you to do their laundry
and things, you can say, I'm sorry but the
agency/medicare/insurance company who ever
pays you, doesn't allow me to do 'caretaking' for others.
Only the patients I am assigned to.
If you get a list of duties from your agency, ask
them to add a line to indicate the duties are to
the patients only and do not extend beyond that.
If you are private pay, that is different, and you would
need to ask the people you care for (presuming they
are paying for you) to indicate to family that you are paid
to care for the couple, not for the family.
Unless the family wants to offer you a generous bonus
to do their meals and laundry while they vacay for
free at the parent's home.
If a different relative is paying you, let them be the
one to outline you work for the couple, not for the
family and either tell the family themselves, or give
you a list of duties/not duties to show to the visitors
that think they are in a hotel.
Or look the son in the eye, and say
I'm sorry, I should have let you know sooner,
I am here for ...list, or names or whatever....
and I'm really not comfortable with the
unexpected extra work, unexpected extra duties,
I am not expected to do that, I am not paid to do that
Realistically you signed up to take care of two
people, not 5, 6 or 7 even for just a week
Unless someone wants to come forward with a
nice cash bonus for your extra efforts.... agreed to
in advance
How did you time off go?
In hindsight I may have overstepped with my mom's PCA, she worked for us for 5 years - I did ask favours - take her out for lunch, shopping, walks---but in return we gave extra pay, always gave gas money, gifts certificates for her family for restaurants, and thought she didn't mind the occasional extra beyond call of duty favour -- now I wonder if she felt taken advantage of - sometimes family doesn't ask favours to take advantage it's just that a person we trust and our loved one cares about is able to help in a way outside of the usual job description