My mum is almost 100. She has medication, wash, breakfast in the morning but cries and is upset if we get her up. She prefers to sleep until 13.00 when she has lunch, dresses and has more medication. Is this worrying for her mobility and general health? The pattern above avoids a lot of distress.
Please do not try to micromanage a woman who's already outlived the rest of everybody by 22 years. She wins this game, no matter what turns her health may take from here. Nobody lives forever.
The body does wear down.
I would now let her have whatever pattern works for her mentally.
There is no changing the fact that the body is failing at this age, and that something will eventually allow her to pass.
From a repost by Geaton below you say that your mother is on a lot of drugs that would definitely affect her in terms of keeping her sleepy.
You also tell us a doctor has said she should not be in pain because there is "nothing wrong" and as an old retired RN I have to tell you that I think your doctor may be certifiably insane.
I get how hard this is, it's the hardest thing we will ever do and seeing them declining is so hard. My mom's getting more and more frail , where are days out shopping, are going to turn into going for rides now. And it stinks. Took her to are local nursery to get flowers, left and said that will most likely be the last time she goes there.
It's hard to accept decline but it's nature. It's what happens to all of us at one point , weather or not your 88 like my mom or 100.
Best of luck.
At 100, let Mom do what she wants.
and if letting her sleep keeps her in less "distress" then that is a win win for all involved.
Please just enjoy whatever time you may have left with your mum, and quit worrying about the small stuff.
I have many ultra senior friends and they all get up and about way later then they use to, their activity has slowed down but, they aren't more sick because of it.
I am told they are just tired and ready to go. They do what they must but, they are losing or have lost interest in being what others think they should be, especially the doctors. So they do the dew and get through each day as they can.
If your mother is so resistant to getting up for breakfast, that it is a fight, it seems it may best not to create aggravation if you cannot find a way to coax her to get up. I wonder if your team of doctors can be helpful. There may be medication issues that make it more difficult to wake up — but I suspect you have tried that since you seem very engaged and proactive in her care.
I am experiencing that my granny is slowing down and is less engaged overall - but still sees family and friends. It’s a bit harder to get her to go out, but when she doesn’t she complains of being stuck in her apartment. Creativity seems to be required to get her going. I have better luck with one of her caregivers than other.
I see many posts that say to leave your mother be. My experience has been that kind and proactive management has been invaluable in keeping as high quality of life as you can provide. Even with a sharp mind - my granny does not seem to be able to plan the day too well.
From what you describe, you’re doing a fabulous job of caring for your mother. She’s lucky.
My mom and I have both always been late birds. My dad had to get up so early for work and me for band practice at school. We TREASURED sleeping to noon on weekends!
Maybe this is just how her internal clock works now. Honestly, I worked long term care, and my mom is now in memory care. They get them up at 7:30 a.m. for breakfast and shut the place down at 7 p.m. A lot of them take naps during the day. Does it really make any difference? If she's up and happy at 1 p.m. at 100 yrs old, I say good for her!!! He'll on your schedule, probably, and sometimes it's hard to make late afternoon appts., but otherwise, let it be. That's my opinion.
My mother lived to be age 95 in 2014. The last 6 months of her life, she slept up to 20 hours daily, so a palliative nurse always checked on her. She also had several medical conditions.
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