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I'm looking for ideas about where to look for someone to give mom a shower at home. I've googled, I've yelped, I've used Agingcare of course and a place for mom. The handful of agencies around me have minimums of 2-6 hours and also a higher rate for those minimums. One even advertises no minimums and that they can do a 30 min visit, yet they told me it was a 3 hour minimum on the phone. So right now, it's looking like $100/shower. Is that just how much it costs?


I'm avoiding picking random people on CL. I tried asking a social worker but she suggested that I ask around people I know to see if they knew of anyone. I'm also thinking about dropping by the local senior center and asking them. Any other suggestions?


Alternatively, do nursing homes, AL facilities, etc offer shower services? Is that it a possibility that I can drive her there like an outpatient?

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I have been my mothers "POA", shower aid, driver, food prep, laundry, bedding, floors, companionship, friend, psychiatrist, shoulder to cry on etc..
My mother and I have found and have learned together about female hygiene, toileting, adult diapers and accidents, skin rashes, lotions potions, meds and madness.
If I am able to help you in any way I can, please let me know.
Also,where are you and your mother located?? Maybe I could help reach out to some free resources or contacts that have helped mom and I through our seven year "learning process". My mom and I are our best support team for each other while learning together what DOES and what DOES NOT work for us. My motheris continuing to battle the late stages "Alzheimer Dementia along with Parkinsons Diseases.
WE are constantly learning and trying new and "unique" helpful tools or items that may help her with her day to day struggles.
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Check with your local Office on Aging if she is elderly. If she qualifies due to her income they will send someone either from the hospital or an agency and it could either be free or a small fee for donation.
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Hey BarbB I am sure you are right... I just finally got on the site and ya know, some things really p...ss you off! I have so many things I wish I could voice and get some feedback however they are too numerous and I would have to write a book about the nasty stuff I have to deal with. Thanks much... btw
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Katz; you might have noticed that only a couple of the responses were of the "why don't you do it yourself" variety. There are troublemakers and trolls on every online forum. We generally just ignore them.
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I thought this was supposed to be a forum to support others in a similar situation that you may be in. I find it appalling at the negative and nasty responses putting this person down because of the fact that she does not do personal hygiene for her mom. You have no right to judge anyone. It may be her mom that will not allow her to give her a shower. It does not matter what the reason, just because you find it so wonderful... (I will keep my comments to myself) does not give you the right to respond in such a horrible manner. Perhaps you should not be on a web site that is geared toward HELPING someone.
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A good starter is the elder case worker at the town's senior center.
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2 years ago we paid $16.50 an hour with a 4 hour minimum. It took that long to talk mom into a bath, bathe & dress. Imagine if someone walked into your home & wanted you to undress & get in a tub. Now we pay $280 a day for nursing home with a bath 3 times a week. So there you go.
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You could also call local college or vocational school and ask about nursing student to hire.
I am 66 and gave mom a shower everyday and washed her hair with handheld shower while sitting her on chair that extends over tub as mentioned above. You can do it. I had NO family and did this alone 4-5 years. I also have bad back,but it's amazing what you can do if you really love someone. I will not make judgement,though,because I don't know your situation.
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If you’ve a nursing college or university nearby, you may want to post a flyer on their notice boards. Mention the details, time and pay. There’ll be a student, who needs some extra cash. That would work out cheaper and you would be helping out a student too!
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It's very hard finding someone to come in to do a shower. I was able to find a woman who had done in home care. She knew my Mom which helped. She showered Mom 3x a week. She was here 1/2 he and I paid her $10 ea visit. I wish now I had paid $15. If she missed a day I still gave her the $30. Someone on site a while back suggested checking with student nursing school.
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When I worked as a CNA, there were agencies that had a shower girl. They got paid $18 at that time for giving a shower. I'm sure the agency got more. But I thought about doing it because they made more than I did. Of course they had to run around more!
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Wow this thread really blew up this morning. For 4 days it just sat there with no more responses after the first 3.

So to answer questions in the order I can remember them.

1) The reason you haven't "heard back from OP" is that this thread has been dead for 4 days. I'm not here 24/7 ready to respond within a few seconds of each post.

2) As I stated, there is no medical need. She can walk and talk and get into the shower just fine on her own. Regardless I have all the prerequisite equipment from shower chairs to a transfer bench. She doesn't need the transfer bench. The chair is a nice to have although she tends not to use it.

3) Why don't I do it myself? In a nutshell, she won't stand for it. Actually she can still physically shower herself. She does it every 2-3 weeks and otherwise washclothes herself. A RN and the care attendant have checked out her skin and said whatever she's doing is doing the job. There's nothing wrong with her skin. So what's the problem? Ideally they still think that she should still shower once a week. My brothers also have it in their heads that she needs to shower more. I'm not so sure about that. The care attendant says now she pretty much does everything herself, she just helps with drying off.

4) So if she can shower by herself what's the problem? The problem is that she doesn't do it regularly once a week. If I ask her to do it. It just makes her do it even less. But if someone shows up to help her, she'll at least go along with it. Well, at least for now. The novelty has kind of worn off and I've noticed she's getting more resistant to it.

JT private care sounds like exactly what I need. Even an hour is more than enough. Now if I can only find anything like that around me. I've reached out to various daycares and adult living places but I haven't heard back from them yet. I'll try to call again today.
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The county day care program that my FIL attended included a shower. It was a real help for my tow SIL who he lived with as he was refusing to shower at home.
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Check with your local Dept. of Aging, or with your local Senior Center. In some cities, the Senior Center keeps a "register" or list of Certified Nursing Assistants who will provide Home Care. There ARE CNAs out there who do not work for agencies, but who are willing to provide care at a much lower rate than the agencies. I used to do this. You might also check with your Church to see if there are any people who might be willing to volunteer to help. I know it's frustrating. Occasionally, I will still help someone out if it doesn't involve any heavy lifting, as I am 63, and have some problems of my own at this point. :) Best of luck to you. I wish you and your Mother all the best.
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I just checked...JT Private Duty is 45.00 for 1 hr. They shower head to toe and will even blow dry hair. You pick your frequency of showers - no set days, times, etc, you just should give more than 24hrs advance notice, less than 24 hrs becomes an emergency and thus increase in price.
jtprivateduty.com
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Medicare has gotten a lot stricter about home health aides. They are the people who assist with showers if your mom is on home health. If she does not qualify for a home health aide, and you can't afford $100 per shower (who can?), you will need to assist her in the shower or start giving her bed baths. There are a lot of instructional videos on YouTube to show how to do this properly. I also have a backup lady who will bathe my Loved One when I am too tired to do it myself.
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If you are in the area of Bonita Springs, Naples, Estero etc...Millenium House offers showers for their clients, it’s an adult day care that my mother goes to and I think this is a terrific service they offer. For outpatient they do not do that there. However, JT Private Duty will do that and they service Lee and Collier Counties in Florida. #239-896-6582. If you want to enroll your loved one in the day care treatment and have them showered while there, that info is:
Millennium House of SW Florida
Senior citizen center in Bonita Springs, Florida
Address: 8951 Bonita Beach Rd SE # 297, Bonita Springs, FL 34135
Phone: (239) 992-5513
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Our HomeHealthCare will asssit in the shower for no extra $$.. I just had to ask for assistance for my father.

The alternative is you can shower her. Or you can sponge-bath her using Aloe Vesta soaps (Foaming or Regular) - no rinse. If you use the Regular Aloe Vesta, it is 1 ounce to a gallon of water - some Hospice and HomeHealth will even provide it as part of their services. If she is able to do her privates, let her. This is what they do in the hospital and most likely nursing homes. I'm not sure about the NH.

I shower my DH whenever he is willing to get into the tub. I have a stool and I use a "shower wand" for wetting & rinsing. Otherwise I use the Aloe Vesta and sponge-bath him.

The only reason I didn't shower my Dad was because he was still cognizant and it would have embarrassed him for his daughter to do it. He didn't even let the 'lady' from HomeHealthCare do it. So I bought him a stool and we put in an adjustable shower wand bar and he was able to do it himself in the shower stall.

Thankfully, they only need to shower about once a week - but I think my father showered himself a lot more often.
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Although we haven't heard back from the OP so far, I wonder if the issue might be that her mother is too heavy for the OP to handle. Thus, she may be willing but unable to bathe her. Additional details of the situation would be helpful. I think the suggestion about using a handicapped room in a motel is an excellent example of "thinking outside the box".
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we have walk in shower,shower chair and i ordered an 8 ft long hand held shower hose that had on and off flip on the shower head and has fast and slow. it makes it easier for me to get my husband showered,the hard part is getting him talked into it,along with not wanting to eat hardly anything he used to he does not want to shower,its stressful because if he gets upset he throws things so i try to keep my voice low and loving.
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You might hire someone for respite care for the3 or 4 hour or whatever and they do the bath & other things while you can have some time off so you are getting more for the $ spent.
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put an ad up in your local nursing home to see if a CNA would like some extra cash.. Interview very carefully.
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Your local senior center is an excellent idea. We do have programs that are grant funded, and pay is based on a sliding fee scale. Sr. Centers should also have background checked employees, who are trained and work for that demographic. Also, our hospital does do baths in their Arjo tub. I think for $17. Try those places. And to answer vonrock's question. You would think that a family member would be more comfortable. But in my experience, it is not. It is the opposite. A parent does not want a child taking care of them. For some, it feels like they are an inconvenience, and they are ashamed they cannot take care of themselves. We know that not to be true, however, they feel that their independence is going, and do not want to burden their kids. Not always, and if you a different relationship with a loved one, kudos to you and to them!
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Moen Home Care series has several different bathing assistance items.

Moen Adj Height Transfer Bench DN7105 has wide third leg that nestles against tub outside so it’s very stable. If you have “garden” style tub in BA, this model can be raised up enough to clear over the garden height
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When my mum was mobile, I use to book a handicap room at Comfort Inn, about a mile from where we live. It was there that we took advantage of the handicap shower. My mum LOVED it! Afterwards, I would go get us some lunch. Although, we only used the room for about 3 hours, it was a wonderful outing for the two of us. And, side note, if I booked the room during the week, it cost me approximately $45. ;)
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Your local Agency on Aging/state home care may help. Bathing and dressing should qualify as "critical needs". However need assessment done first. Fees on sliding scale, so depends on her income. Senior Center can help you contact this agency.
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If she does not need medical attention, just help in showering, the suggestions of asking around is a great point. There is also a site, www.care.com where you can post a request for a caregiver and have them respond to you, or read posts of caregivers wanting to be hired. They will list their services as well as their pay rate. Plus, it will help you narrow in on people in your area.
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Ask around at your hair salon, church, and office to see if anyone knows someone who works part time at a facility and would be interested in coming by your home to help with that task. I am sure there is someone in your neighborhood who may be willing to assist. Also, you may want to have grab bars installed. With my mother in law? I gave her the huge walk in shower (which is big enough for two people) and put a portable shower bench and one of those wands on the shower head. They also have these 'transfer bench' things that you can put across a standard bathtub where she can sit while she uses the shower wand. It's hard to get them up and down out of a tub.
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My mom cannot walk, only pivot. I found a large shower chair (sometimes called a bariatric chair) which extends outside the tub with 2 legs in and 2 legs out. (bought used for $5. I bought a 6-foot extension hose ($15 Menards) for the shower head. I put a chuck on the chair so she will not slip. I wheel her in the bathroom. we stand and pivot and sit on the chair. Now hoist her legs into the tub. She has a small tote with all her washing essentials. She loves it. She has her independence, I come in and wash her back, she can wash her privates and all is happy.
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There are chairs that can slide from the outside of the tub to the inside of the tub. The chair attaches to the side of the tub. She sits down outside the tub, then slides into the tub, all while sitting down. Once inside the tub, there are shower hoses that are extra long, with the on/off close to the shower head for convenience. This might be sufficient for your mom?
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